Weekend Football Dump - Sept 21-24

I didn't give any predictions for the first 2 weeks, pretty much because they're useless, and besides, not being able to bet this year has taken the starch out of me. So instead, if I have time on Fridays, I'll just give my eggheaded insight into the weekend that is Football, along with some non-thought-provoking commentary on the betting lines where applicable.


EYE on the IFL

IFL Game of the Week: Nine Fingers (2-0) vs. Part Time Pimps (2-0)
One of 3 battles between unbeaten IFL teams this weekend. Shu's Fingers are the highest scoring team in the league, while Mike B's Pimps have been outscored by a couple of 0-2 teams. But the big story here is all-world PTP WR Andre Johnson's injury, rendering him unusable for this game. That is a huge blow (nob?) for the PTP and I expect 9F to roll behind the Johnson boys (Rudi and Chad) again.

Other key games:
Lizard Kings (0-2) vs. Chinese Toys R Us (0-2) - Both teams went up tough comp in Weeks 1 and 2 despite having good weeks themselves (CTRU was kinda donkey in Wk 2 though - only 107). CTRU will be playing from behind again, and it will come down to the bitter end, as practically all of John E's team plays at 1:00 Sunday, and CTRU has to wait for SNF to see Romo and T.O., and Bush is on MNF. I fully expect John to gloat as he takes a 110-point lead as I watch the Birds game at his house. I will definitely be calling his house late Monday night to feed him some crow. The loser here will be in big trouble at 0-3.

Mud Dogs (1-0-1) vs. B.C. Bombers (2-0) - Chris T looks to continue his 7-game winning streak, dating back to last season including his title-winning run, while Mike P just wants to be accepted as something other than a tea-bagging assface, in this IFL East throwdown. Mud Dogs need Steven Jackson to get back on track, but it will be tough against that Tampa defense who shut down the sAints last week. BCB may be looking ahead to the monster Week 4 showdown with other early-season big-swinging-dick 9 Fingers.

Razen Kanes (2-0) vs. Notorious RVG (1-0-1) - Tone Money! The Damn Best looks to keep his high intercontinental profile with a win over the Notorious one. With Hasselbeck going against the non-existant Bungals secondary and Steve Smith and Carolina facing the equally inept Falcons D, expect Tone to join the elite at 3-0. Also, RVG will be attending a rock and roll music concert during the Sunday games!!! Blasphemy! He should have his football license revoked. I certainly hope he doesn't start following the church of Satan after partaking in that heinous activity.

The rest:
Napalm Death (1-1) vs. Mighty Meatballs (0-2) - If Devo doesn't win this, he should be tied to the back of a speedboat by his feet and dragged down the Delaware River.
Dead Beats (0-2) vs. Ballbusters (1-1) - Paging LaDainian Tomlinson?
Dragons (0-2) vs. Hit Squad (1-1) - Holland will check into rehab on Tuesday, after facing his enabler this weekend.


COLLEGE - the best 7 years of my life

College Football Game of the Week - what else? Oklahoma (3-0) at Tulsa (2-0) FRIDAY night on ESPN2. The battle for Oklahoma. Both teams have explosive offenses, but I have a feeling the Golden Shower haven't ever seen anything like this OU defense. If anyone cares, I like OU -23 and I'll take the under 68...prediction - Oklahoma 63, Tulsa 3.

Also-
3-0 Penn State (-3) @ 1-2 Michigan. If Henne's back, Tone's Wolverines can resume their mastery of the Lions, but if that freshman plays, I think PSU could eat him up as they did with that homo Claussen. If I was a betting man, I wouldn't like this game. For shits and giggles, I'll take Meechigan.

0-3 Temple (+21) @ Bowling Green. Big revenge game for BG as the Owls knocked them off last year for their only win in the last 3 seasons. Lay the 3 TDs even though Temple got robbed last week.

#12 South Carolina (+16.5) @ #2 LSU. First of many tough SEC matchups for the Tigers (Miss St = not tough). Spurrier brings that tough D into Baton Rouge but the Cocks will have serious trouble scoring points against the best D in the nation. I expect a blowout, as LSU makes another statement.

#22 Georgia (+3.5) @ #16 Alabama. Can the Saban magic continue? I hope not, as he is a prick. But I do like the Tide in this one, coming off their HUGE win at home last week vs. the Razorbacks.


NFL - televised games

Dallas (+3) @ Chicago - Sunday night. I expect the Boys to be victorious here, as the Bears could start to unravel behind that woeful offense.

Lions (+6) @ Eagles - ehhh.. should the Birds be giving 6 to anyone? Kitna could have a field day with that hurtin Eagles secondary. I hate to say it, but the Kittens may win it outright, and I would definitely take the points. I hope I'm wrong, because if the Birds come out flat again on this Throwback Sunday, the fans are going to want to throw McNabb & Reid back to the lions.

NY Giants (+3.5) @ Redskins - In this NFC East matchup, I'd lean toward taking the points, even though the Giants STINK. Redskins are also frauds, so I could see them definitely tripping up. Great logic here, I know.

Bungals (+3.5) @ Seahawks - We know about the Cincy D. Seattle doesn't look that great themselves, but I think they'll pick up the W at home, lay the pts.

Titans (+4.5) @ Saints - Monday Night. Time for the Saints offense to appear, please (I have Bush in 2 leagues). Titans coming off a high, almost beating the Colts at home. I tend to like the Titans w/ the pts, but I think it will be a NO victory, something like 27-24.