Due to unfortunate circumstances involving a powerful storm in the Atlantic, a chimpanzee named Francis, and 3 dozen 15-watt light bulbs, Cambodian Slick's Week 4 Predictions have been cancelled. They should return for the Week 5 games.
In my one and only plug for my non-gambling blog ever, check out http://cambodianfootball.blogspot.com, where I post my real life college and pro picks (when I have time to do that). Until the gov't takes the ability to gamble online away from us. Pricks!
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
IFL Survivor: Lake Titicaca
The tribe has spoken. By a vote of 11-0, 9 Fingers owner Shu, you have been voted off the Island. You will now be thrown into the swampy crocodile-infested waters to swim with the remains of the other evicted guests, Chaos and John E. Don't forget your rubbers.
Shu, your point total of 59 this week warrants this eviction. 11 castaways remain on IFL Survivor.
The Biff Pocoroba Massacre has immunity for Week 4 by virtue of their stunning 155 points dropped this week.
Shu, your point total of 59 this week warrants this eviction. 11 castaways remain on IFL Survivor.
The Biff Pocoroba Massacre has immunity for Week 4 by virtue of their stunning 155 points dropped this week.
Week 3 IFL Results
Did I mention there were seven IFL games this past weekend? Not sure if you guys heard. I know Tone Money had no idea there was a game.
Mud Dogs 79, Dead Beats 62
BC Bombers 114, Nine Fingers 59
Notorious RVG 107, Part Time Pimps 90
Dragons 88, Mighty Meatballs 64
Hit Squad 115, Napalm Death 103
Lizard Kings 124, Razen Kanes 60
Biff Pocoroba Massacre 155, Blue Dogs 103
Mud Dogs 79, Dead Beats 62
BC Bombers 114, Nine Fingers 59
Notorious RVG 107, Part Time Pimps 90
Dragons 88, Mighty Meatballs 64
Hit Squad 115, Napalm Death 103
Lizard Kings 124, Razen Kanes 60
Biff Pocoroba Massacre 155, Blue Dogs 103
Week 4 Pickup Order
This week's pickup order is dedicated to Mike P and Bob S.
1. Dead Dogs (0-3; 217 pts)
2. Mighty Dogs (0-3; 225 pts)
3. Nine Dogs (1-2; 224 pts)
4. Lizard Dogs (1-2; 245 pts)
5. Blue Dogs (1-2; 261 pts)
6. Dragon Dogs (1-2; 263 pts)
7. Napalm Dogs (1-2; 290 pts)
8. Biff Pocoroba's Dog (1-2; 317 f*cking pts MOTHERF*CKER)
9. Razen Dogs (2-1; 251 pts)
10. Part Time Dogs (2-1; 301 pts)
11. Notorious DOG (2-1; 315 pts)
12. Mud Dogs (3-0; 262 pts)
13. Hit Dogs (3-0; 347 pts)
14. Bucks County Canine Society (3-0; 377 pts)
1. Dead Dogs (0-3; 217 pts)
2. Mighty Dogs (0-3; 225 pts)
3. Nine Dogs (1-2; 224 pts)
4. Lizard Dogs (1-2; 245 pts)
5. Blue Dogs (1-2; 261 pts)
6. Dragon Dogs (1-2; 263 pts)
7. Napalm Dogs (1-2; 290 pts)
8. Biff Pocoroba's Dog (1-2; 317 f*cking pts MOTHERF*CKER)
9. Razen Dogs (2-1; 251 pts)
10. Part Time Dogs (2-1; 301 pts)
11. Notorious DOG (2-1; 315 pts)
12. Mud Dogs (3-0; 262 pts)
13. Hit Dogs (3-0; 347 pts)
14. Bucks County Canine Society (3-0; 377 pts)
Monday, September 25, 2006
Week 3 Monday Night Meltdown
Week 3 almost in the books. How bout them Biff Pocoroba Massacres. That's 20 dogs at the Phillies game tonite.
Only 2 games have implications tonight, but they're big ones and they're close as balls.
Notorious RVG 100, Part Time Pimps 88
(RVG has Bush; PTP has Dunn)
It's gonna be a thriller tonight in the Superdome. Reggie Bush's home debut coincides with this huge early-season IFL tilt between these two dopes, and his and Warrick Dunn's performance are going to have huge implications. RVG has pretty balanced scoring all around, and Andre Johnson was the high man with 27. PTP looked a little more human, with not too many big days other than Bulger's inflated 22. PTP needs the win to stay unbeaten in the East, RVG will either be a game over or 1 under .500 in the Central.
Hit Squad 110, Napalm Death 99
(HS has Crumpler; ND has Falcons DEF)
If I were Hit Squad, I'd be painting my face green and running around doing E-A-G-L-E-S chants in my tightie whities. They looked pathetic during the 1:00 games, but Donnie Mac and B-West had a field day in SF, with a combined 67 pts (BW worth 45). Those 2, and Lee Evans' 19, were really all that Hit Squad brought to the table. Poor Devo...the prick gets a meager 25 out of Palmer (seems low for a 4 TD day), 26 out of Greg f-ing Jennings, and 24 out of Kasay! And he could still lose. This is going to be a close one... I tend to think the Falcons could dominate like they did their other NFC South opponents, so ND still has a good shot at winning this one. If they do, they'll be 2-1, and so will Hit Squad. If it's a Crumpler night...Hit Squad stays amongst the ranks of the unbeaten and alone atop the West.
The following games are either over or essentially over.
Biff Pocoroba Massacre 155, Blue Dogs 79
(BPM is done; BD has Saints DEF)
I think we've found a new starting QB in the Land of Biff. After 2 weeks of Plummer's shenanigans, Favre stepped right in and showed 'em how it's done. Brett shredded the Lions D for a 42-bomb. It's like '94 all over again! Add into the mix long-awaited explosions from Roy Williams (27) and Muhammad (21), and it looks like we have ourselves a new $20 winner. I'm goin' to Sizzler! As for Blue Dogs, it was all Holt (27) and Boldin (22) and a bunch of crap. Saints D needs to completely demolish the Falcons and put up 76, which would have been easily attainable via the old scoring system. B.P. Massacre gets off the Snyde and goes to 1-2 in the Wide Open West, Blue Dogs are 1-2 in the Central.
Lizard Kings 124, Razen Kanes 51
(LK is done; RK has Deuce)
Which of these teams was 0-2 going in and which one was 2-0? Not who you'd think if you look at this outcome. Tone Money's Kanes definitely look fraudulent after this pathetic performance. Brady put up 23 and that was about it. For the Kings, Javon Walker's huge Sunday night (35) put them into the upper IFL stratosphere, even topping Willie Parker's great day (28). Not to mention, John E's first-rounder Steve Smith was back in the lineup, worth 19, and just like his NFL team, Smith has the ability to make his team that much better. Kanes fall back in with the cool crowd at 2-1 (barring Deuce miracle), while the LKs will be 1-2 in the Central.
B.C. Bombers 114, Nine Fingers 59
FINAL
Another day at the office for Chris T, another piss poor performance for Shu. Eli put up 21 for the Fingers, but that was it. He has people in his starting lineup that shouldn't be on NFL rosters. Bombers were carried by Hasselbeck (31). BC remains undefeated at 3-0 atop the Central, Shu is 1-2 and fading fast.
Mud Dogs 79, Dead Beats 47
(MD is done; DB has Carney)
I wouldn't mind Mud Dogs winning if we didn't have to hear from Mike P. ever. Yes, it's true they might be the worst 3-0 team ever, but what's going on in Dead Beats land is even more troubling. I know LJ was on a bye, but this is ridiculous. Two players had goose eggs (Dom Rhodes and Chad Jackson). Unacceptable, especially for a 3-time champion. I think it might be time for Dead Beats to say goodbye. And I don't know who Mud Dogs play next week but I sure hope the MDs lose so we can put a muzzle on Mike P. and get our lives back to normal. MD = 3-0 in the East. DB = 0-3 in the East. Worst. Team. Ever.
Dragons 88, Mighty Meatballs 64
FINAL
You can finally put one in the win column for the Phightin' Dragons. However, their MVP was Mighty Meatballs owner Meatball. He was stuck with 2 injured players in his starting lineup (Stallworth and Vinatieri), while he was hanging out in Wildwood getting shot down by 16 and 17-year old girls at the arcade. Stallworth was kind of a surprise to everyone, but this team still looks pretty bad. McGahee was the only bright spot, and he was only worth 18 in a 150-yd performance. For Dragonbreath, that 2nd round pick Portis finally paid some dividends, putting up 26. D-Jax (20) and D Mason (21) were also money. Congrats to the Wo as he climbs toward that tall peak that is 100 wins! Meatballs...still 99 away. They are 0-3 in the East, Dragons are 1-2 in the West.
Only 2 games have implications tonight, but they're big ones and they're close as balls.
Notorious RVG 100, Part Time Pimps 88
(RVG has Bush; PTP has Dunn)
It's gonna be a thriller tonight in the Superdome. Reggie Bush's home debut coincides with this huge early-season IFL tilt between these two dopes, and his and Warrick Dunn's performance are going to have huge implications. RVG has pretty balanced scoring all around, and Andre Johnson was the high man with 27. PTP looked a little more human, with not too many big days other than Bulger's inflated 22. PTP needs the win to stay unbeaten in the East, RVG will either be a game over or 1 under .500 in the Central.
Hit Squad 110, Napalm Death 99
(HS has Crumpler; ND has Falcons DEF)
If I were Hit Squad, I'd be painting my face green and running around doing E-A-G-L-E-S chants in my tightie whities. They looked pathetic during the 1:00 games, but Donnie Mac and B-West had a field day in SF, with a combined 67 pts (BW worth 45). Those 2, and Lee Evans' 19, were really all that Hit Squad brought to the table. Poor Devo...the prick gets a meager 25 out of Palmer (seems low for a 4 TD day), 26 out of Greg f-ing Jennings, and 24 out of Kasay! And he could still lose. This is going to be a close one... I tend to think the Falcons could dominate like they did their other NFC South opponents, so ND still has a good shot at winning this one. If they do, they'll be 2-1, and so will Hit Squad. If it's a Crumpler night...Hit Squad stays amongst the ranks of the unbeaten and alone atop the West.
The following games are either over or essentially over.
Biff Pocoroba Massacre 155, Blue Dogs 79
(BPM is done; BD has Saints DEF)
I think we've found a new starting QB in the Land of Biff. After 2 weeks of Plummer's shenanigans, Favre stepped right in and showed 'em how it's done. Brett shredded the Lions D for a 42-bomb. It's like '94 all over again! Add into the mix long-awaited explosions from Roy Williams (27) and Muhammad (21), and it looks like we have ourselves a new $20 winner. I'm goin' to Sizzler! As for Blue Dogs, it was all Holt (27) and Boldin (22) and a bunch of crap. Saints D needs to completely demolish the Falcons and put up 76, which would have been easily attainable via the old scoring system. B.P. Massacre gets off the Snyde and goes to 1-2 in the Wide Open West, Blue Dogs are 1-2 in the Central.
Lizard Kings 124, Razen Kanes 51
(LK is done; RK has Deuce)
Which of these teams was 0-2 going in and which one was 2-0? Not who you'd think if you look at this outcome. Tone Money's Kanes definitely look fraudulent after this pathetic performance. Brady put up 23 and that was about it. For the Kings, Javon Walker's huge Sunday night (35) put them into the upper IFL stratosphere, even topping Willie Parker's great day (28). Not to mention, John E's first-rounder Steve Smith was back in the lineup, worth 19, and just like his NFL team, Smith has the ability to make his team that much better. Kanes fall back in with the cool crowd at 2-1 (barring Deuce miracle), while the LKs will be 1-2 in the Central.
B.C. Bombers 114, Nine Fingers 59
FINAL
Another day at the office for Chris T, another piss poor performance for Shu. Eli put up 21 for the Fingers, but that was it. He has people in his starting lineup that shouldn't be on NFL rosters. Bombers were carried by Hasselbeck (31). BC remains undefeated at 3-0 atop the Central, Shu is 1-2 and fading fast.
Mud Dogs 79, Dead Beats 47
(MD is done; DB has Carney)
I wouldn't mind Mud Dogs winning if we didn't have to hear from Mike P. ever. Yes, it's true they might be the worst 3-0 team ever, but what's going on in Dead Beats land is even more troubling. I know LJ was on a bye, but this is ridiculous. Two players had goose eggs (Dom Rhodes and Chad Jackson). Unacceptable, especially for a 3-time champion. I think it might be time for Dead Beats to say goodbye. And I don't know who Mud Dogs play next week but I sure hope the MDs lose so we can put a muzzle on Mike P. and get our lives back to normal. MD = 3-0 in the East. DB = 0-3 in the East. Worst. Team. Ever.
Dragons 88, Mighty Meatballs 64
FINAL
You can finally put one in the win column for the Phightin' Dragons. However, their MVP was Mighty Meatballs owner Meatball. He was stuck with 2 injured players in his starting lineup (Stallworth and Vinatieri), while he was hanging out in Wildwood getting shot down by 16 and 17-year old girls at the arcade. Stallworth was kind of a surprise to everyone, but this team still looks pretty bad. McGahee was the only bright spot, and he was only worth 18 in a 150-yd performance. For Dragonbreath, that 2nd round pick Portis finally paid some dividends, putting up 26. D-Jax (20) and D Mason (21) were also money. Congrats to the Wo as he climbs toward that tall peak that is 100 wins! Meatballs...still 99 away. They are 0-3 in the East, Dragons are 1-2 in the West.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Cambodian Slick's Week 3 Predictions
If you see my predictions on the IFL Blog, you know the weekend is here. Unless you are Cambodian Slick, who is confined to his Center City office working late! Imagine the heinousity. Regardless, I have carved out a 10-hour window during my work day so I could refine my picks, which are sure to excite and pleasure all of you.
NFL Picks
There are some really, really great games in Week 3, and I've had my eye on several of them all week. So rather than bore you with a couple sentences before giving you the picks, I'm just going to give you the picks. That is all. Oh, don't forget to turn your clocks back this weekend. And if you think of it, call your local congressman and complain about something. Anything. And don't get me started on the Birds last week.... (although I did have the vision to predict a 6-point loss for them)...
Last week: 3-4 ATS, 5-2 straight up
Year to date: 9-5 ATS! 11-3 straight up
Jest 24, Bills 20 (Buff -5.5)
Steelers 27, Bengals 13 (Pitt -2)
Jaguars 33, Colts 24 (Indi -7) how trendy to pick the Jags!
Vikings 21, Bears 13 (Chi-3)
Seahawks 38, Giants 20 (Sea -3.5)
Eagles 24, 49ers 21 (Philly -6)
Patriots 27, Broncos 16 (Pats -7)
Falcons 35, Saints 0 (ATL -4) what a feel good story!
College Picks
WOW did Oklahoma get robbed last week. At least they get to take their frustration out on Middle Tennessee this week. I encourage all of you to boycott any and all products of Oregon, not the least of which, Portland's own The Dandy Warhols. Just for a week.
Last week: 4-4 ATS, 5-3 straight up
Year to date: 5-7 ATS, 9-3 straight up
Michigan 30, Wisconsin 21 (Mich -13.5)
Iowa 49, Illinois 7 (Iowa -21)
Ohio State 38, Penn State 14 (OSU -16.5)
Notre Dame 31, Michigan State 20 (ND -2.5)
Western Michigan 52, Temple 0 (WMU -28)
How bad is Western Michigan??? They're only favored by 4 touchdowns over Temple! They must really suck.
IFL Picks
Last week: 2-4-1
Year to date: 6-7-1
Dead Beats over Mud Dogs
Notorious RVG over Part Time Pimples
Biff Pocoroba Massacre over Blue Dogs, just cuz
Dragons over Mighty Meatballs, bringing the 'Balls to 1-15 all time
Napalm Death over Hit Squad
Razen Kanes over Lizard Kings
Game of the Week: BC Bombers (2-0) vs. 9 Fingers (1-1). Shu certainly made headlines this week when he called out the Rules Committee and the Commissioner himself, and threatened to quit the IFL. That is basically the equivalent of one of the homeless guys in Love Park going up to Capitol Hill and lambasting Congress. Preposterous. But all is well and good now, and Shu gets a shot at his man-crush, BC Bombers owner Chris T. And who doesn’t want to bang Chris these days? His in-bin is overflowing with marriage proposals, X-rated pics, and freshly removed women’s panties (hence the scent of red snapper wafting throughout IFL headquarters). In all seriousity, this is a mismatch for the ages. The Bombers are a wrecking machine, out to destroy all IFL records. 9 Fingers is probably starting Mike Furrey and Derrick Blaylock this week. I’ve already said too much. Prediction: BC Bombers by (as many points as Ohio State wins by) plus (the number of points Temple loses by).
NFL Picks
There are some really, really great games in Week 3, and I've had my eye on several of them all week. So rather than bore you with a couple sentences before giving you the picks, I'm just going to give you the picks. That is all. Oh, don't forget to turn your clocks back this weekend. And if you think of it, call your local congressman and complain about something. Anything. And don't get me started on the Birds last week.... (although I did have the vision to predict a 6-point loss for them)...
Last week: 3-4 ATS, 5-2 straight up
Year to date: 9-5 ATS! 11-3 straight up
Jest 24, Bills 20 (Buff -5.5)
Steelers 27, Bengals 13 (Pitt -2)
Jaguars 33, Colts 24 (Indi -7) how trendy to pick the Jags!
Vikings 21, Bears 13 (Chi-3)
Seahawks 38, Giants 20 (Sea -3.5)
Eagles 24, 49ers 21 (Philly -6)
Patriots 27, Broncos 16 (Pats -7)
Falcons 35, Saints 0 (ATL -4) what a feel good story!
College Picks
WOW did Oklahoma get robbed last week. At least they get to take their frustration out on Middle Tennessee this week. I encourage all of you to boycott any and all products of Oregon, not the least of which, Portland's own The Dandy Warhols. Just for a week.
Last week: 4-4 ATS, 5-3 straight up
Year to date: 5-7 ATS, 9-3 straight up
Michigan 30, Wisconsin 21 (Mich -13.5)
Iowa 49, Illinois 7 (Iowa -21)
Ohio State 38, Penn State 14 (OSU -16.5)
Notre Dame 31, Michigan State 20 (ND -2.5)
Western Michigan 52, Temple 0 (WMU -28)
How bad is Western Michigan??? They're only favored by 4 touchdowns over Temple! They must really suck.
IFL Picks
Last week: 2-4-1
Year to date: 6-7-1
Dead Beats over Mud Dogs
Notorious RVG over Part Time Pimples
Biff Pocoroba Massacre over Blue Dogs, just cuz
Dragons over Mighty Meatballs, bringing the 'Balls to 1-15 all time
Napalm Death over Hit Squad
Razen Kanes over Lizard Kings
Game of the Week: BC Bombers (2-0) vs. 9 Fingers (1-1). Shu certainly made headlines this week when he called out the Rules Committee and the Commissioner himself, and threatened to quit the IFL. That is basically the equivalent of one of the homeless guys in Love Park going up to Capitol Hill and lambasting Congress. Preposterous. But all is well and good now, and Shu gets a shot at his man-crush, BC Bombers owner Chris T. And who doesn’t want to bang Chris these days? His in-bin is overflowing with marriage proposals, X-rated pics, and freshly removed women’s panties (hence the scent of red snapper wafting throughout IFL headquarters). In all seriousity, this is a mismatch for the ages. The Bombers are a wrecking machine, out to destroy all IFL records. 9 Fingers is probably starting Mike Furrey and Derrick Blaylock this week. I’ve already said too much. Prediction: BC Bombers by (as many points as Ohio State wins by) plus (the number of points Temple loses by).
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Commentary - Waiver Wire
What a wonderful year to be terrible! One of the reasonings behind shrinking the roster size by one this season was to possibly fatten the free agent pool each week. That's 14 more players out there every week. But no. In previous years, most teams would keep 2 defenses, and a few would horde 2 kickers. Now only 8/14 teams carry 2 DEFs and nobody carries a 2nd kicker. So maybe that whole idea was a little flawed.
So as a result....there still isn't DICK out there on the waiver wire. Having the #4 pick this week is no prize for my craptacular start to the 2006 season. That's the perils of a 14-team league.
-CS
So as a result....there still isn't DICK out there on the waiver wire. Having the #4 pick this week is no prize for my craptacular start to the 2006 season. That's the perils of a 14-team league.
-CS
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Week 3 Schedule
**Mud Dogs (2-0) vs. Dead Beats (0-2)
**B.C. Bombers (2-0) vs. 9 Fingers (1-1)
Part Time Pimps (2-0) vs. Notorious RVG (1-1)
Biff Pocoroba Massacre (0-2) vs. Blue Dogs (1-1)
Dragons (0-2) vs. Mighty Meatballs (0-2)
Hit Squad (2-0) vs. Napalm Death (1-1)
Lizard Kings (0-2) vs. Razen Kanes (2-0)
** = Division game
**B.C. Bombers (2-0) vs. 9 Fingers (1-1)
Part Time Pimps (2-0) vs. Notorious RVG (1-1)
Biff Pocoroba Massacre (0-2) vs. Blue Dogs (1-1)
Dragons (0-2) vs. Mighty Meatballs (0-2)
Hit Squad (2-0) vs. Napalm Death (1-1)
Lizard Kings (0-2) vs. Razen Kanes (2-0)
** = Division game
Week 3 Pickup order
1. Lizard Kings (0-2, 121 pts)
2. Dead Beats (0-2, 155 pts)
3. Mighty Meatballs (0-2, 161 pts)
4. Biff Pocoroba Massacre (0-2, 162 pts)
5. Dragons (0-2, 175 pts)
6. Blue Dogs (1-1, 158 pts)
7. Nine Fingers (1-1, 165 pts)
8. Napalm Death (1-1, 187 pts)
9. Notorious RVG (1-1, 208 pts)
10. Mud Dogs (2-0, 183 pts)
11. Razen Kanes (2-0, 191 pts)
12. Part Time Pimps (2-0, 211 pts)
13. Hit Squad (2-0, 232 pts)
14. B.C. Bombers (2-0, 263 pts)
***Last week add/drops were processed by the site at around 1:30am. I would assume they will be done around the same time this week.
2. Dead Beats (0-2, 155 pts)
3. Mighty Meatballs (0-2, 161 pts)
4. Biff Pocoroba Massacre (0-2, 162 pts)
5. Dragons (0-2, 175 pts)
6. Blue Dogs (1-1, 158 pts)
7. Nine Fingers (1-1, 165 pts)
8. Napalm Death (1-1, 187 pts)
9. Notorious RVG (1-1, 208 pts)
10. Mud Dogs (2-0, 183 pts)
11. Razen Kanes (2-0, 191 pts)
12. Part Time Pimps (2-0, 211 pts)
13. Hit Squad (2-0, 232 pts)
14. B.C. Bombers (2-0, 263 pts)
***Last week add/drops were processed by the site at around 1:30am. I would assume they will be done around the same time this week.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
IFL Real World: Camden
By a vote of 12-0, and by virtue of having the piss poor low score for the week (66), Lizard Kings owner John E., you have been eliminated from the IFL Real World:
Once again, BC Bombers owner Chris T. will have immunity for another week by virtue of his high score.
John E. joins Dead Beats owner Chaos in the gutters of “
Week 2 Resluts + weekly $20
Part Time Pimps 114, Dead Beats 109
Mud Dogs 89, Mighty Meatballs 87
Bucks County Bombers 124, Notorious RVG 103
Nine Fingers 72, Lizard Kings 66
Razen Kanes 106, Dragons 85
Hit Squad 122, Biff Pocoroba Massacre 94
Napalm Death 120, Blue Dogs 81
Congrats once again to B.C. Bombers owner Chris T. who edged out Hit Squad for the weekly $20. His 124 points was the high for the week, and he adds yet another $20 to his always growing bank account.
Also, my apologies to Blue Dogs, I said in the Melee post that they had lost last week, but they won. I guess I'm just used to their losing ways. Sorry Blue, you're still my boy. They now sit at 1-1 in the Central.
Mud Dogs 89, Mighty Meatballs 87
Bucks County Bombers 124, Notorious RVG 103
Nine Fingers 72, Lizard Kings 66
Razen Kanes 106, Dragons 85
Hit Squad 122, Biff Pocoroba Massacre 94
Napalm Death 120, Blue Dogs 81
Congrats once again to B.C. Bombers owner Chris T. who edged out Hit Squad for the weekly $20. His 124 points was the high for the week, and he adds yet another $20 to his always growing bank account.
Also, my apologies to Blue Dogs, I said in the Melee post that they had lost last week, but they won. I guess I'm just used to their losing ways. Sorry Blue, you're still my boy. They now sit at 1-1 in the Central.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Week 2 Monday Night Melee
A whopping 4 games have reached climax after Sunday's day-long football orgy. The 3 others either have a bad case of ED, or they got the Football Fever baby, cause it's Monday Night!!!! (cue crickets soundbyte)
Hit Squad 122, Biff Pocoroba Massacre 94
(FINAL)
Do not be fooled, folks. The BPM is not as good as their 94 point score looks. Once again, they were absolutely carried by the Baltimore D (45), which has been outstanding this year. Matt Stover also had a nice week, with 16. Other than that, oogatz. The rest of the lineup is absolute trash (except for Edge, who had a mediocre 12). I actually benched my 2nd round pick, Lamont Jordan, and he made me look good by putting up his 2nd straight goose egg (great pick!). Jake Plummer is worth (-2) this year so far. Enough. Let us give some credit to Hit Squad, who had great days from McNabb (33) and Westbrook (21), despite the Eagles implosion at the Linc. Their Bears D was not too shabby either, with a 33-bomb. Hit Squad now stands in first place in the West at 2-0, looking strong. BPM is 0-2 and only getting worse.
Part Time Pimps 114, Dead Beats 109
(FINAL)
Chaos' Sunday night comeback came up short, as Bledsoe's 19 was not enough. It had to hurt seeing Pennington's 32 points on the bench. In the battle of LJ vs. LT, PTP's 1st rounder, Tomlinson, prevailed once again, his 27-22 edge over Johnson making up the difference in the game. PTP is now 2-0 in the East and Mike B continues to steamroll through the IFL in only his 2nd season. 3-time champ Dead Beats are 0-2 and dwelling in the East cellar. Quite a trend Chaos is starting here...terrible in even-numbered years, winning titles in odd-numbered years.
Napalm Death 120, Blue Dogs 81
(FINAL)
The streak is over! Devo has won an IFL game for the first time since 2004! He somehow got 26 out of Galloway, whose team lost 14-3. Palmer was also good for 26. For Bob and his Blue Dogs, the long year and even longer IFL career trudges along, the losses piling up like dirty laundry. Delhomme (5) has been a complete disappointment (yeah, I feel your pain - see 2005 Cambodian Slick). Plaxico (24) was his only saving grace. and boy, is he loved here in Philly. Blue fell to 0-2 in the Central, and ND is at 1-1.
Bucks County Bombers 117, Notorious RVG 103
(BCB has Steelers D; RVG is done)
The praise and fan mail continue to pile up for Chris T and the BCB. He's put himself in great position to win the weekly $20 for the 2nd consecutive week. At this rate, he's going to need to fill out a Form W-2G for the IRS. As for RVG, who watched the games at my house yesterday, he needs to fill out a Form RVG-12-P (for the number of slices of pizza he ate). Just kidding, he was not gluttonous yesterday, and in fact, he was a model houseguest....he only left shitstains in 2 of my 3 toilets. BCB was helped not by pseudo-superstars Hasselbeck (9 - bah!) and Fitzgerald (I scoff at his 5), but by this wishbone RB attack, all of whom ran for 100+ yards: S. Jackson (15 pts), C. Taylor (16) and Frank Gore (22). Not to mention All-World WR A. Bryant and his 30 pts. RVG was carried by Peyton's huge day (400 yds, 39 pts) but it's not enough to stop the machine that is B.C. Bombers, your 2006 IFL Champs. Just give them the trophy now, because all trophies are won in September, right? BCB is 2-0 going on 15-0, RVG is 1-1 in Central IFL.
And now, the games whose outcome hinges on tonight's Stillers-Jagwires Monday Night Football hype-fest. Ooh I hope Travis Tritt performs on ESPN at halftime, then they bring him into the booth so they can talk to him while the game is going on.
Razen Kanes 106, Dragons 74
(Kanes are done; Dragons have Big Ben and F. Taylor)
Me and Wo-Man laughed it up over a Cuban and a $400 bottle of wine when we found out that we had Tone Money and Hit Squad in our division....but who's laughing now? (not me) Big Ben is back after all the motorcrashes and appendix explosions, and he's ready to start putting up fantasy numbers. Between him and Freddie T, Wo-Man still has some hope (unlike me). As for Sunday's festivities, Kanes had a well balanced attack led by Rudi (29) and Deuce (16), but their 3rd RB, Cadillac, has been a major disappointment. He joined the bagel club yesterday with a big round number. Their immediate future outlook is even better, since they have Terry Glenn, who will be the main man in Big D for a few weeks with TO's injury. Dragons had good days out of D-Jax (24) and Harrison (20), but it was mediocrity elsewhere. If things stay as they are, Kanes will move into a tie for first in the West at 2-0 and Dragons will join the Western losers' lounge at 0-2. A Wo comeback puts them both at 1-1.
Mighty Meatballs 87, Mud Dogs 80
(MM is done; MD has Matt Jones)
Tonight's outlook is cut and dry, Mike P needs at least 7 out of Matt Jones. Neither team had anyone score 20 points or more, but there was mediocre balance all the way around. Meatballs were actually led by their D (Bucs = 19) and kicker (Vinatieri = 17), which seems to be all the rage in the IFL this year. Mud Dogs got 16 out of Keyshawn, their leading scorer. Ew. Well, I tried to generate some excitement in this IFL East tussle. I only have so much to work with here. Mighty Meat is 0-1 and Mud Dogs are 1-0...do the math.
Nine Fingers 72, Lizard Kings 63
(9F has H. Ward; LK has W. Parker)
It's teams like 9 Fingers and Lizard Kings that make me think my team may not be the worst in the IFL this year. I am damn close to it though. But these guys are bad. For Shu, it was Eli (35!) and Coles (23) and a bunch of 2s and 3s. His team's box score looks like Tiger Woods' scorecard. And John E joined the Defense-and-Kicker-are-my-best-players Club, with SD D carrying the load with a whopping 16. Somehow Doug Gabriel ended up in his starting lineup (zero), while newly acquired Jerricho Cotchery put up a 31-bomb on the Kings' bench. Right game (NYJ-NE), wrong WR. So stay tuned tonight, as this game has the makings of the old Bungals-Browns clashes from the mid-90s or Colts-Patriots from the late 80s, when both teams would win a combined 3 games every year. Loser drops to 0-2 in the IFL Mid-Continent Division, while the winner is only a game worse than BCB at 1-1!
Hit Squad 122, Biff Pocoroba Massacre 94
(FINAL)
Do not be fooled, folks. The BPM is not as good as their 94 point score looks. Once again, they were absolutely carried by the Baltimore D (45), which has been outstanding this year. Matt Stover also had a nice week, with 16. Other than that, oogatz. The rest of the lineup is absolute trash (except for Edge, who had a mediocre 12). I actually benched my 2nd round pick, Lamont Jordan, and he made me look good by putting up his 2nd straight goose egg (great pick!). Jake Plummer is worth (-2) this year so far. Enough. Let us give some credit to Hit Squad, who had great days from McNabb (33) and Westbrook (21), despite the Eagles implosion at the Linc. Their Bears D was not too shabby either, with a 33-bomb. Hit Squad now stands in first place in the West at 2-0, looking strong. BPM is 0-2 and only getting worse.
Part Time Pimps 114, Dead Beats 109
(FINAL)
Chaos' Sunday night comeback came up short, as Bledsoe's 19 was not enough. It had to hurt seeing Pennington's 32 points on the bench. In the battle of LJ vs. LT, PTP's 1st rounder, Tomlinson, prevailed once again, his 27-22 edge over Johnson making up the difference in the game. PTP is now 2-0 in the East and Mike B continues to steamroll through the IFL in only his 2nd season. 3-time champ Dead Beats are 0-2 and dwelling in the East cellar. Quite a trend Chaos is starting here...terrible in even-numbered years, winning titles in odd-numbered years.
Napalm Death 120, Blue Dogs 81
(FINAL)
The streak is over! Devo has won an IFL game for the first time since 2004! He somehow got 26 out of Galloway, whose team lost 14-3. Palmer was also good for 26. For Bob and his Blue Dogs, the long year and even longer IFL career trudges along, the losses piling up like dirty laundry. Delhomme (5) has been a complete disappointment (yeah, I feel your pain - see 2005 Cambodian Slick). Plaxico (24) was his only saving grace. and boy, is he loved here in Philly. Blue fell to 0-2 in the Central, and ND is at 1-1.
Bucks County Bombers 117, Notorious RVG 103
(BCB has Steelers D; RVG is done)
The praise and fan mail continue to pile up for Chris T and the BCB. He's put himself in great position to win the weekly $20 for the 2nd consecutive week. At this rate, he's going to need to fill out a Form W-2G for the IRS. As for RVG, who watched the games at my house yesterday, he needs to fill out a Form RVG-12-P (for the number of slices of pizza he ate). Just kidding, he was not gluttonous yesterday, and in fact, he was a model houseguest....he only left shitstains in 2 of my 3 toilets. BCB was helped not by pseudo-superstars Hasselbeck (9 - bah!) and Fitzgerald (I scoff at his 5), but by this wishbone RB attack, all of whom ran for 100+ yards: S. Jackson (15 pts), C. Taylor (16) and Frank Gore (22). Not to mention All-World WR A. Bryant and his 30 pts. RVG was carried by Peyton's huge day (400 yds, 39 pts) but it's not enough to stop the machine that is B.C. Bombers, your 2006 IFL Champs. Just give them the trophy now, because all trophies are won in September, right? BCB is 2-0 going on 15-0, RVG is 1-1 in Central IFL.
And now, the games whose outcome hinges on tonight's Stillers-Jagwires Monday Night Football hype-fest. Ooh I hope Travis Tritt performs on ESPN at halftime, then they bring him into the booth so they can talk to him while the game is going on.
Razen Kanes 106, Dragons 74
(Kanes are done; Dragons have Big Ben and F. Taylor)
Me and Wo-Man laughed it up over a Cuban and a $400 bottle of wine when we found out that we had Tone Money and Hit Squad in our division....but who's laughing now? (not me) Big Ben is back after all the motorcrashes and appendix explosions, and he's ready to start putting up fantasy numbers. Between him and Freddie T, Wo-Man still has some hope (unlike me). As for Sunday's festivities, Kanes had a well balanced attack led by Rudi (29) and Deuce (16), but their 3rd RB, Cadillac, has been a major disappointment. He joined the bagel club yesterday with a big round number. Their immediate future outlook is even better, since they have Terry Glenn, who will be the main man in Big D for a few weeks with TO's injury. Dragons had good days out of D-Jax (24) and Harrison (20), but it was mediocrity elsewhere. If things stay as they are, Kanes will move into a tie for first in the West at 2-0 and Dragons will join the Western losers' lounge at 0-2. A Wo comeback puts them both at 1-1.
Mighty Meatballs 87, Mud Dogs 80
(MM is done; MD has Matt Jones)
Tonight's outlook is cut and dry, Mike P needs at least 7 out of Matt Jones. Neither team had anyone score 20 points or more, but there was mediocre balance all the way around. Meatballs were actually led by their D (Bucs = 19) and kicker (Vinatieri = 17), which seems to be all the rage in the IFL this year. Mud Dogs got 16 out of Keyshawn, their leading scorer. Ew. Well, I tried to generate some excitement in this IFL East tussle. I only have so much to work with here. Mighty Meat is 0-1 and Mud Dogs are 1-0...do the math.
Nine Fingers 72, Lizard Kings 63
(9F has H. Ward; LK has W. Parker)
It's teams like 9 Fingers and Lizard Kings that make me think my team may not be the worst in the IFL this year. I am damn close to it though. But these guys are bad. For Shu, it was Eli (35!) and Coles (23) and a bunch of 2s and 3s. His team's box score looks like Tiger Woods' scorecard. And John E joined the Defense-and-Kicker-are-my-best-players Club, with SD D carrying the load with a whopping 16. Somehow Doug Gabriel ended up in his starting lineup (zero), while newly acquired Jerricho Cotchery put up a 31-bomb on the Kings' bench. Right game (NYJ-NE), wrong WR. So stay tuned tonight, as this game has the makings of the old Bungals-Browns clashes from the mid-90s or Colts-Patriots from the late 80s, when both teams would win a combined 3 games every year. Loser drops to 0-2 in the IFL Mid-Continent Division, while the winner is only a game worse than BCB at 1-1!
Friday, September 15, 2006
Cambodian Slick's Week 2 Predictions
Welcome to the new home of Cambodian's Weekley Predictions. I mostly decided to move hear, to iflblog.blogspot.com, because they have a better spell check. Besides, is there anyone out there who really wants me to inundate their e-mailbox with stupid get-rich quick schemes, such as winning football picks? Of course you don't, you're idiots.
NCAA PICKS
I'm feeling a little saucy, so let's start in the college ranks. This week's college slate is one of the juicest you'll ever see. A whopping 7 games pitting ranked teams against each other. What a day to sit in front of the 56" DLP and stuff your fat f*cking face. Of course, I won't be doing that, I'll be drinking 'em up at a wedding and checking my Blackberry every 30 seconds for scores.
On to the games. Some people call this Separation Saturday. I call it a gold mine. So go buy that new big screen TV. Go make a down payment on that shore property. Give your wife a pearl necklace. Just get on my back, and ride me to the promised land.
(Last week's picks - a stellar 1-3 ATS, but 4-0 straight up)
LSU 19, Auburn 17 (Aub -3)
Notre Dame 28, Michigan 20 (ND -5)
Louisville 31, Miami 17 (Louis -4)
TCU 45, Texas Tech 42 (Tech -1.5)
USC 41, Nebraska 14 (USC -18.5)
Tennessee 26, Florida 21 (Fla -3.5)
Minnesota 57, Temple 3 (Minn -41.5)
And it pains me to do this, but I think it's going to happen...
Oregon 31, Oklahoma 17 (Ducks -4.5)
NFL PICKS
I think this is an unusually tough week to pick NFL games, so I'm taking the week off.
BAAHHHH HAHAHAHAHA!!! Are you kidding? I positively owned last week, going 6-1 on the message board, and the one I lost (Redskins), I actually came to my senses on Monday night and wagered on Minnesota in real life. My record speaks for itself, I will say no more.
(Last week's picks - only 6-1 straight up and ATS - corrected in real life though)
Bears 19, Lions 16 (Chi -9)
Dolphins 31, Bills 10 (Mia -6)
Panthers 28, Vikings 24 (Car -1.5)
49(Fing)ers 34, Rams 28 (STL -3)
Giants 27, Eagles 21 (Birds -3) sorry
Cowboys 21, Redskins 17 (Dal -6)
Jaguars 23, Steelers 20 (Pit -1.5)
The Bucs-Falcons game intrigues me, but I'm not sure which way I'm going with that one yet. My mind says Bucs, but my applebag says Falcons. Call me on Sunday if you're interested in hearing my pick.
IFL PICKS
Mighty Meatballs over Mud Dogs
Part Time Pimps over Dead Beats
9 Fingers vs. Lizard Kings - cancelled
Blue Dogs over Napalm Death
Hit Squad over Biff Pocoroba Massacre (that really hurts)
Dragons over Razen Kanes
Game of the Week: Notorious RVG (1-0) vs. B.C. Bombers (1-0). Battle of the Central powerhouse teams. Each team put up over 100 last week in a week when scoring was tough to come by. The Bombers lineup looks pretty sick right now. Hasselbeck, Gore, S Jackson, C Taylor, Fitzgerald, A Bryant. Wow. However, I can see a couple of those guys coming back down to earth. As for Not RVG, it's the Manning and Bush show. I expect both to put up huge numbers vs. weak opponents. This game could come down to kickers. I think the 4 extra points kicked by Jeff Wilkins will best Nate Kaeding's 5 XPs and a missed 39-yarder. Prediction: Notorious RVG by 1.
NCAA PICKS
I'm feeling a little saucy, so let's start in the college ranks. This week's college slate is one of the juicest you'll ever see. A whopping 7 games pitting ranked teams against each other. What a day to sit in front of the 56" DLP and stuff your fat f*cking face. Of course, I won't be doing that, I'll be drinking 'em up at a wedding and checking my Blackberry every 30 seconds for scores.
On to the games. Some people call this Separation Saturday. I call it a gold mine. So go buy that new big screen TV. Go make a down payment on that shore property. Give your wife a pearl necklace. Just get on my back, and ride me to the promised land.
(Last week's picks - a stellar 1-3 ATS, but 4-0 straight up)
LSU 19, Auburn 17 (Aub -3)
Notre Dame 28, Michigan 20 (ND -5)
Louisville 31, Miami 17 (Louis -4)
TCU 45, Texas Tech 42 (Tech -1.5)
USC 41, Nebraska 14 (USC -18.5)
Tennessee 26, Florida 21 (Fla -3.5)
Minnesota 57, Temple 3 (Minn -41.5)
And it pains me to do this, but I think it's going to happen...
Oregon 31, Oklahoma 17 (Ducks -4.5)
NFL PICKS
I think this is an unusually tough week to pick NFL games, so I'm taking the week off.
BAAHHHH HAHAHAHAHA!!! Are you kidding? I positively owned last week, going 6-1 on the message board, and the one I lost (Redskins), I actually came to my senses on Monday night and wagered on Minnesota in real life. My record speaks for itself, I will say no more.
(Last week's picks - only 6-1 straight up and ATS - corrected in real life though)
Bears 19, Lions 16 (Chi -9)
Dolphins 31, Bills 10 (Mia -6)
Panthers 28, Vikings 24 (Car -1.5)
49(Fing)ers 34, Rams 28 (STL -3)
Giants 27, Eagles 21 (Birds -3) sorry
Cowboys 21, Redskins 17 (Dal -6)
Jaguars 23, Steelers 20 (Pit -1.5)
The Bucs-Falcons game intrigues me, but I'm not sure which way I'm going with that one yet. My mind says Bucs, but my applebag says Falcons. Call me on Sunday if you're interested in hearing my pick.
IFL PICKS
Mighty Meatballs over Mud Dogs
Part Time Pimps over Dead Beats
9 Fingers vs. Lizard Kings - cancelled
Blue Dogs over Napalm Death
Hit Squad over Biff Pocoroba Massacre (that really hurts)
Dragons over Razen Kanes
Game of the Week: Notorious RVG (1-0) vs. B.C. Bombers (1-0). Battle of the Central powerhouse teams. Each team put up over 100 last week in a week when scoring was tough to come by. The Bombers lineup looks pretty sick right now. Hasselbeck, Gore, S Jackson, C Taylor, Fitzgerald, A Bryant. Wow. However, I can see a couple of those guys coming back down to earth. As for Not RVG, it's the Manning and Bush show. I expect both to put up huge numbers vs. weak opponents. This game could come down to kickers. I think the 4 extra points kicked by Jeff Wilkins will best Nate Kaeding's 5 XPs and a missed 39-yarder. Prediction: Notorious RVG by 1.
Week 2 pickups - resolution
Here they are. I forgot to mention Hit Squad in my previous post. I got in touch with them and BC Bombers. Thanks to all for your patience and cooperation.
1. Dead Beats - R Williams (drop T Taylor)
2. Lizard Kings - J Crotchery (IR Jurevicius)***
3. ND - M Turner (drop Jones-Drew)
4. Dragons - M Jenkins (IR Greg Jones)***
5. Nine Fingers - Rams D (IR C Martin)***
6. Blue Dogs - Romo (drop Carr)
7. Mud Dogs - D Clark (drop McMichael)
8. Not RVG - Troupe (drop Jennings)
9. Hit Squad - M Colston WR NO (IR Priest H)***
10. BC Bombers - N Kaeding (drop Feely)
11. Dead Beats - J Carney (drop Peterson)
12. Lizard Kings - A Smith QB SF (IR T Green)***
13. ND - Broncos D (drop Dayne)
14. Dragons - L Betts (drop Duckett)
15. Nine Fingers - J Harrison RB CLE (IR Dom Davis)***
16. Blue Dogs - Saints D (drop Titans D)
*** - move affected by my F-up
1. Dead Beats - R Williams (drop T Taylor)
2. Lizard Kings - J Crotchery (IR Jurevicius)***
3. ND - M Turner (drop Jones-Drew)
4. Dragons - M Jenkins (IR Greg Jones)***
5. Nine Fingers - Rams D (IR C Martin)***
6. Blue Dogs - Romo (drop Carr)
7. Mud Dogs - D Clark (drop McMichael)
8. Not RVG - Troupe (drop Jennings)
9. Hit Squad - M Colston WR NO (IR Priest H)***
10. BC Bombers - N Kaeding (drop Feely)
11. Dead Beats - J Carney (drop Peterson)
12. Lizard Kings - A Smith QB SF (IR T Green)***
13. ND - Broncos D (drop Dayne)
14. Dragons - L Betts (drop Duckett)
15. Nine Fingers - J Harrison RB CLE (IR Dom Davis)***
16. Blue Dogs - Saints D (drop Titans D)
*** - move affected by my F-up
Week 2 Pickup fiasco!
Long story short.... I messed up. The people who tried to put someone on IR to pick someone up did not get their picks. That goes for 9 Fingers (2 players), Hit Squad, Lizard Kings, and Dragons. In the case of Dragons, their IR move was intended to be their first pickup...and they wanted 2 pickups, so they got their 2nd pickup first. This had to be switched, so their IR move was first.
The reason for the screw-up was my tinkering in the League Rules section of the website (only can be changed by those with commish access). I changed the max # of players on a roster to 14, while the max # of players on IR was set at 3. I thought the IR players did not count against the roster size, but apparently that is not the case. So those who tried to put in an IR move had theirs declined because according to the site, it would have brought them over the max # of players allowed on a roster. Yes, it was my fault for changing it (I guess I thought some teams might pickup more than they were allowed...stupid on my part), but sometimes the Sportsline site is a little nebulous when it comes to their commisioner functions.
That being said, everything should work next week as planned, since I know what the problem was.
The reason for the screw-up was my tinkering in the League Rules section of the website (only can be changed by those with commish access). I changed the max # of players on a roster to 14, while the max # of players on IR was set at 3. I thought the IR players did not count against the roster size, but apparently that is not the case. So those who tried to put in an IR move had theirs declined because according to the site, it would have brought them over the max # of players allowed on a roster. Yes, it was my fault for changing it (I guess I thought some teams might pickup more than they were allowed...stupid on my part), but sometimes the Sportsline site is a little nebulous when it comes to their commisioner functions.
That being said, everything should work next week as planned, since I know what the problem was.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
A note about Add/Drops on the website
First thing: Make sure you clear out last week's picks!!! You can just click "Withdraw" next to the request.
Now, as for the pickups from this point forward. We are going to let the site process the moves. The (1a, 1b, 1c....2a, 2b...) method used from previous years still holds true if making more than one move.
Now, as for the pickups from this point forward. We are going to let the site process the moves. The (1a, 1b, 1c....2a, 2b...) method used from previous years still holds true if making more than one move.
- If making one move, it's cut and dry. Request to add/drop as always and the order in which the players appear in your queue is your order of preference.
- If you're making two moves... your 1st and 2nd moves are distinguished by the player you are dropping.
- There is no more notating 1a, 1b, etc. on the site because there is no comment box... moves are processed in the order in which they are presented, and skipped if the player you requested is not available or the player you are requesting to drop is already dropped.
For example, if you are dropping Favre and picking up a QB as your first move, those selections should be at the top of your list (in the order of your preference). Then for your second pick, you're dropping Barber for whoever you pick up...just list those requests underneath the 1st pickup requests. As seen in the example below...
***1st pickup
1a. Tony Banks (drop Favre)
1b. Jeff Blake (drop Favre)
1c. Kyle Boller (drop Favre)
1d. Koy Detmer (drop Favre)
***2nd pickup
2a. JJ Arrington (drop Barber)
2b. Fred Beasley (drop Barber)
2c. Dee Brown (drop Barber)
2d. Mike Alstott (drop Barber)
It should look like this on your Add/Drop screen (click pic to enlarge).
If you messed up, fear not. You can just click "Move Up" or "Move Down" to re-order your selections, and if you want to get rid of one of your selections completely, just click "Withdraw".
Now let's say you have a list of players, and you just want the top 2 off your list, no matter their position.
You would have to do it in this fashion....the first player dropped (in this case Favre) would represent your 1a, 1b, and the 2nd player dropped would be your 2a, 2b, etc.
1a. Tony Banks (drop Favre)
1b. JJ Arrington (drop Favre)
1c. Fred Beasley (drop Favre)
1d. Mike Alstott (drop Favre)
1e. Dee Brown (drop Favre)
1f. Jason Avant (drop Favre)
Then you would have to basically re-list everyone from 1b down (not 1a because he won't be available at 2a if you didn't get him at 1a), with the 2nd player dropped.
2a. JJ Arrington (drop Barber)
2b. Beasley (drop Barber)
2c. Alstott (drop Barber)
etc...
I know you think it is time-comsuming and tedious, and it is to a degree, but keep these points in mind.
- This is the way it has to be done for this process to work properly for you.
- The real time-consuming part is figuring out who you want and the order in which you want them. Make a list, then input them into the site....and the actual inputting part, while somewhat tedious, will then only take a few minutes.
I should also note that unlike previous years, when I did all the moves manually, I DO NOT have the ability to see your requests, so you bear the responsibility of making sure they are accurate.
***MOVES WILL BE PROCESSED BY THE SITE AT APPROXIMATELY 2:30 AM Thurs night/Fri morning.
Hopefully I didn't confuse things more. It's really a very simple process, and since most of you have been in the league 14 years, you should have a handle on how our pickup system works. I'm sure there will be a learning curve as far as navigating the site, since this is a new process, but I expect it to go smoothly and hopefully make everyone's life easier, especially mine.
If you have any other questions, please email me , post a message on the IFL web site, or post a comment on the blog after this entry.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
IFL Brother 14
We tried this before, in Survivor style, so this year we'll switch it up. Yes, it's IFL Brother. (you all know my love of reality TV). Each week, the low score of the week gets evicted from the house. The high scorer has immunity (HoH) and cannot be evicted the following week. At the end of the season, the last "man" standing wins the grand prize, a 28-oz. bottle of Jergens.
So let's start the eviction ceremony.
By a vote of 13-0....and with a measley 46 points in your Week 1 loss to the BC Bombers....Dead Beats owner Chaos..... you have been evicted from the IFL Brother house. Now get the f*** out.
Congrats to Chris T of BC Bombers fame, by virtue of the high weekly score (139) he is the new HoH and he can't be evicted next week...so feel free to lay a dodo egg in your Week 2 game.
So let's start the eviction ceremony.
By a vote of 13-0....and with a measley 46 points in your Week 1 loss to the BC Bombers....Dead Beats owner Chaos..... you have been evicted from the IFL Brother house. Now get the f*** out.
Congrats to Chris T of BC Bombers fame, by virtue of the high weekly score (139) he is the new HoH and he can't be evicted next week...so feel free to lay a dodo egg in your Week 2 game.
Week 2 free agent pickup order
This is also on the Add/Drop page of the website, but I'm cross-posting it here, since this blog is all things IFL.
1. Dead Beats (0-1, 46 pts.)
2. Lizard Kings (0-1, 55 pts.)
3. Napalm Death (0-1, 67 pts.)
4. Biff Pocoroba Massacre (0-1, 68 pts.)
5. Mighty Meatballs (0-1, 74 pts.)
6. Dragons (0-1, 90 pts.)
7. Nine Fingers (0-1, 93 pts.)
8. Blue Dogs (1-0, 77 pts.)
9. Razen Kanes (1-0, 85 pts.)
10. Mud Dogs (1-0, 94 pts.)
11. Part Time Pimps (1-0, 97 pts.)
12. Notorious RVG (1-0, 105 pts.)
13. Hit Squad (1-0, 110 pts.)
14. B.C. Bombers (1-0, 139 pts.)
More to come on our first attempt at automated pickups. Check back often here on iflblog.blogspot.com.
1. Dead Beats (0-1, 46 pts.)
2. Lizard Kings (0-1, 55 pts.)
3. Napalm Death (0-1, 67 pts.)
4. Biff Pocoroba Massacre (0-1, 68 pts.)
5. Mighty Meatballs (0-1, 74 pts.)
6. Dragons (0-1, 90 pts.)
7. Nine Fingers (0-1, 93 pts.)
8. Blue Dogs (1-0, 77 pts.)
9. Razen Kanes (1-0, 85 pts.)
10. Mud Dogs (1-0, 94 pts.)
11. Part Time Pimps (1-0, 97 pts.)
12. Notorious RVG (1-0, 105 pts.)
13. Hit Squad (1-0, 110 pts.)
14. B.C. Bombers (1-0, 139 pts.)
More to come on our first attempt at automated pickups. Check back often here on iflblog.blogspot.com.
Week 1 Results
Part Time Pimps 97, Mighty Meatballs 74
Mud Dogs 94, Napalm Death 67
Notorious RVG 105, Nine Fingers 93
Blue Dogs 77, Lizard Kings 55
Razen Kanes 85, Biff Pocoroba Massacre 68
Hit Squad 110, Dragons 90
B.C. Bombers 139, Dead Beats 46
Mud Dogs 94, Napalm Death 67
Notorious RVG 105, Nine Fingers 93
Blue Dogs 77, Lizard Kings 55
Razen Kanes 85, Biff Pocoroba Massacre 68
Hit Squad 110, Dragons 90
B.C. Bombers 139, Dead Beats 46
Week 1 $20aire
Congrats to Bucks County Bombers, who acheived the high score for Week 1, with a blowout win of the defending champion Dead Beats, 139-46. And for his effort, Chris T. will receive a shiny new $20 check.
But the real prize here is that he gets the 14th free agent pickup this week.
But the real prize here is that he gets the 14th free agent pickup this week.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Week 1 Monday Night Madness
We have 4 games on the Week 1 marquis which still need some help from tonight’s MNF double bill to declare a winner. Vikings-Redskins at 7 and Bolts-Raiders at 10:15. Looks like another sub-4 hour night of sleep.
Razen Kanes 85, Biff Pocoroba Massacre 68
(Kanes are done; BPM has L. Jordan)
A flaccid outing by the BPM. Thank god for the Baltimore D (39) or this would be one of the all-time ugly games. Tone Money didn't exactly light it up either... his kicker was his high scorer with 15. 100 yards and a TD should do it for Lamont, maybe a few catches… Losing to Tone Money in Week 1 would certainly foreshadow the remainder of my season, but if yesterday’s output is any indication…it’s gonna be a long season anyway.
Notorious RVG 105, Nine Fingers 85
(RVG is done; Shu has R. Moss and Wash DEF)
Shu could pull off one of the most unlikely wins of all time tonight... not only was his head in Thailand when he drafted, but he was 30,000 feet over the Pacific while yesterday's games were being played. His TVs and remotes were certainly thankful for that. He was helped by a big performance from L. Coles (24), while TO (16) and Eli (18) also chipped in nice games. RVG's performance is marred by the fact that his kicker was his high scorer....albeit Wilkins (23), who booted 6 FGs. Is it me or did kickers and defenses do better than QBs and RBs yesterday?
Hit Squad 110, Dragons 77
(HS is done, Dragons have QB B. Johnson)
This one is likely over barring a minor miracle from the Vikings QB. Who does he expect to throw to, to get those 34 points? Hit Squad had top-notch performances from his Bears D (33) and McNabb (32). Wo-Man had good days out of Harrison (21) and Fragile Fred (19). I guess that Greg Jones injury was a good thing.
Part Time Pimps 73, Mighty Meatballs 64
(PTP has Tomlinson; MM has Cooley and Gates)
Precarious position for the Mighty one, as he needs his 2 TEs to outscore the greatest fantasy player in the land by 11. Joey's Sunday Meatballs were very dry on this day, with only Stallworth (27) and Vinatieri (17) adding significant flavor. For PTP, nobody spectacular, but LT should change that and help him hold on tonite. Looks like the Meat-a-balls still sit at 1 (one) career win.
These games are over. Congrats to the winners.
Mud Dogs 86, Napalm Death 67
FINAL (MD has S. Moss, ND is done)
This definitely looked more like the Devo of 2004 than the Devo of the IFL's first decade, further proof that he has not only fallen back to the pack, but fallen below the Mendoza line. An opening day loss to Pisco! Unfathomable! Where do I begin with this atrocity? How about two of his starting WRs, putting up goose eggs...Curtis and Galloway. Thank god for his Falcons D (again with the defenses!) and Tiki who put up 23. His only saving grace is that Tiki looks like the best RB in the league right now, although taken with a grain of salt since they were playing the Colts papier mache run defense. Mud Dogs had a pedestrian performance, with the only standout being QB Warner (34).
Blue Dogs 77, Lizard Kings 55
FINAL
A real snoozer. A little bit of bad luck for the El-Train... OK a lot of bad luck. For starters, his #1 pick (Steve Smith) was out. His replacement in the lineup, Jurevicius, put up a goose egg. Then his kicker is out, so he gets 0 from that position. Then his QB gets decapitiated in the 1st quarter of his game, and he's worth 0. All in all, a banner day at the Ellis household. Blue Dogs weasel their way into a Week 1 victory, but it ain't a beauty pageant, it's the IFL. A win is a win. Bob's high scorer was Plaxico, with 17.
B.C. Bombers 120, Dead Beats 44
(BCB has C. Taylor; DB has T. Taylor and McCardell)
Oh how the mighty have fallen. The defending champs start off with a complete dud, with only #1 overall pick LJ scoring in double digits. And Travis Taylor and McCardell don't exactly have double-digit potential. The Bombers got the lions' share of their points out of that 49ers-Cards game, with Gore (31), Fitzgerald (23), and A Bryant (16) lighting up the scoreboard. Right now, they look to have the high score for the week and the $20 wrapped up.
Sunday's Top Shelf Performances
QB - Kurt Warner, Mud Dogs - 34
RB - Frank Gore, B.C. Bombers - 31
WR - Donte Stallworth, Mighty Meatballs - 27
K - Jeff Wilkins, Notorious RVG - 23
DEF - Baltimore, Biff Pocoroba Massacre - 39
Razen Kanes 85, Biff Pocoroba Massacre 68
(Kanes are done; BPM has L. Jordan)
A flaccid outing by the BPM. Thank god for the Baltimore D (39) or this would be one of the all-time ugly games. Tone Money didn't exactly light it up either... his kicker was his high scorer with 15. 100 yards and a TD should do it for Lamont, maybe a few catches… Losing to Tone Money in Week 1 would certainly foreshadow the remainder of my season, but if yesterday’s output is any indication…it’s gonna be a long season anyway.
Notorious RVG 105, Nine Fingers 85
(RVG is done; Shu has R. Moss and Wash DEF)
Shu could pull off one of the most unlikely wins of all time tonight... not only was his head in Thailand when he drafted, but he was 30,000 feet over the Pacific while yesterday's games were being played. His TVs and remotes were certainly thankful for that. He was helped by a big performance from L. Coles (24), while TO (16) and Eli (18) also chipped in nice games. RVG's performance is marred by the fact that his kicker was his high scorer....albeit Wilkins (23), who booted 6 FGs. Is it me or did kickers and defenses do better than QBs and RBs yesterday?
Hit Squad 110, Dragons 77
(HS is done, Dragons have QB B. Johnson)
This one is likely over barring a minor miracle from the Vikings QB. Who does he expect to throw to, to get those 34 points? Hit Squad had top-notch performances from his Bears D (33) and McNabb (32). Wo-Man had good days out of Harrison (21) and Fragile Fred (19). I guess that Greg Jones injury was a good thing.
Part Time Pimps 73, Mighty Meatballs 64
(PTP has Tomlinson; MM has Cooley and Gates)
Precarious position for the Mighty one, as he needs his 2 TEs to outscore the greatest fantasy player in the land by 11. Joey's Sunday Meatballs were very dry on this day, with only Stallworth (27) and Vinatieri (17) adding significant flavor. For PTP, nobody spectacular, but LT should change that and help him hold on tonite. Looks like the Meat-a-balls still sit at 1 (one) career win.
These games are over. Congrats to the winners.
Mud Dogs 86, Napalm Death 67
FINAL (MD has S. Moss, ND is done)
This definitely looked more like the Devo of 2004 than the Devo of the IFL's first decade, further proof that he has not only fallen back to the pack, but fallen below the Mendoza line. An opening day loss to Pisco! Unfathomable! Where do I begin with this atrocity? How about two of his starting WRs, putting up goose eggs...Curtis and Galloway. Thank god for his Falcons D (again with the defenses!) and Tiki who put up 23. His only saving grace is that Tiki looks like the best RB in the league right now, although taken with a grain of salt since they were playing the Colts papier mache run defense. Mud Dogs had a pedestrian performance, with the only standout being QB Warner (34).
Blue Dogs 77, Lizard Kings 55
FINAL
A real snoozer. A little bit of bad luck for the El-Train... OK a lot of bad luck. For starters, his #1 pick (Steve Smith) was out. His replacement in the lineup, Jurevicius, put up a goose egg. Then his kicker is out, so he gets 0 from that position. Then his QB gets decapitiated in the 1st quarter of his game, and he's worth 0. All in all, a banner day at the Ellis household. Blue Dogs weasel their way into a Week 1 victory, but it ain't a beauty pageant, it's the IFL. A win is a win. Bob's high scorer was Plaxico, with 17.
B.C. Bombers 120, Dead Beats 44
(BCB has C. Taylor; DB has T. Taylor and McCardell)
Oh how the mighty have fallen. The defending champs start off with a complete dud, with only #1 overall pick LJ scoring in double digits. And Travis Taylor and McCardell don't exactly have double-digit potential. The Bombers got the lions' share of their points out of that 49ers-Cards game, with Gore (31), Fitzgerald (23), and A Bryant (16) lighting up the scoreboard. Right now, they look to have the high score for the week and the $20 wrapped up.
Sunday's Top Shelf Performances
QB - Kurt Warner, Mud Dogs - 34
RB - Frank Gore, B.C. Bombers - 31
WR - Donte Stallworth, Mighty Meatballs - 27
K - Jeff Wilkins, Notorious RVG - 23
DEF - Baltimore, Biff Pocoroba Massacre - 39
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Week 1 IFL Schedule
Part Time Pimps vs. Mighty Meatballs
Napalm Death vs. Mud Dogs
9 Fingers vs. Notorious RVG
Blue Dogs vs. Lizard Kings
Hit Squad vs. Dragons
Biff Pocoroba Massacre vs. Razen Kanes
Dead Beats vs. Bucks County Bombers
(all games are division matchups except Dead Beats vs. BCB)
Napalm Death vs. Mud Dogs
9 Fingers vs. Notorious RVG
Blue Dogs vs. Lizard Kings
Hit Squad vs. Dragons
Biff Pocoroba Massacre vs. Razen Kanes
Dead Beats vs. Bucks County Bombers
(all games are division matchups except Dead Beats vs. BCB)
A 3rd-party analysis of the 2006 IFL Draft
One of Snyder's co-workers opined about the 06 Draft. Always interesting to hear an outsider's view of how we do things (except in this case).
Blue Dogs - I didn't like it before, and I still don't like the Burress pick. I just don't think he'll get many 100 yard games or many tds. I think Ward would have been a better pick there (I am confused about that trade - did Hines get picked before or after you picked in the 3rd? That's really the only thing I can find beyond the Edge pick (but seeing the rules Holt was a good pick). You were placed in some tough spots and I think you did well for yourself, but you don't have a clear-cut stud running back. Luckily it seems your league devalues them in a sense and your other positions can overcome that.
Blue Dogs - I didn't like it before, and I still don't like the Burress pick. I just don't think he'll get many 100 yard games or many tds. I think Ward would have been a better pick there (I am confused about that trade - did Hines get picked before or after you picked in the 3rd? That's really the only thing I can find beyond the Edge pick (but seeing the rules Holt was a good pick). You were placed in some tough spots and I think you did well for yourself, but you don't have a clear-cut stud running back. Luckily it seems your league devalues them in a sense and your other positions can overcome that.
Dead Beats - solid rbs, one solid wr and two half-solid wrs, no quarterback to speak of. Must be a Dallas fan to pick Bledsoe at all, much less that high.
Pimps - took LT, then took the rest of the draft off. I can't argue the names, only their positions with their respective teams. Dunn is going to split carries, and the Falcons really like their rookie rb. Driver will get yards I guess, hopefully Favre stays alive long enough to get him the ball. Guy looks like he did a lot of guessing and nose-holding while picking.
Meatballs - Mighty indeed. Not great receivers but that can be fixed on the waiver wire. He should have gone with Burleson or Bruce over Cooley, but he should be fine.
Napalm Death - Interesting picks. Could win the league, could finish dead last. Too many wild cards, not enough consistency in his picks.
Mud Dogs - Clearly took crack before the first round, but the effects wore off as the draft went on. I believe that if he doesn't win the league, he should look no further than his first round pick and what he left there as the reason why.
Bombers - good team, should make some noise.
RVG - Took Bush too high for a non-keeper league. That could bite him in the ass later.
Nine Fingers - Another Dallas fan? Took TO way too high and should be laughed out of the league for taking C-Mart at all.
Lizard Kings - If Branch plays this year, he has a great team. If not, it is merely good. I like his rbs and he fucked you by taking Anderson who could end up playing a lot.
Massacre - He is very lucky that INTs don't count against you. However I don't see many tds or 300+ games from his qbs. That will hurt him in the end.
Kanes - another good team. Great value in the middle round receiver picks.
Dragons - He could actually have 0 running backs. Should have taken Brad Johnson over Ben, but got lucky and nabbed him late anyway. Poor draft but could fall into a good team regardless.
Hit Squad - Solid team, but I wouldn't have taken most of his team in a draft, much less had all of those players on one team. Could work out anyway, but I don't know.
I'd say for next year, cut the teams to 12, add another starting RB per team. Pimps and Nine Fingers are useless aside from an entry fee. Of course, now that I have said that watch them play for the championship.
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For the record, 13 out of 14 owners think this guy has no clue what he is talking about.
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For the record, 13 out of 14 owners think this guy has no clue what he is talking about.
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