Monday, December 24, 2007

2007 IFL Championship Game: Napalm Death vs. Mud Dogs

Heading into Monday Night (Denver @ SD), Mud Dogs lead Napalm Death, 115-104. It is simple as this - Devo has Brandon Marshall, Mike P has Chargers D. Or is it that simple? Could you imagine a tie in the Championship??? It would go to the IFL's convoluted Playoff Game Tiebreaker System, IFL Rule III. Part d. (that is not a joke, it is on the Rules page of the IFL Website).

Which states:

d) Playoff GameTiebreakers:

1) Total NFL value of TDs, FGs, XP, 2 pt conv. scored by starting lineup (inlcuding defensive and return TDs) (all TDs worth 6, FGs worth 3, etc)

2) Most IFL points by highest remaining draft pick in starting lineup

Based on those criteria,

1) Mud Dogs lead Napalm Death 35-29. A Marshall TD could easily create a tie, 35-35. And we would go to

2) Mud Dogs - Steven Jackson (19); Napalm Death - Brian Westbrook (18).

Yes it is a longshot, but that would be very interesting and controversial. And here at IFL Blog News, we thrive on controversy.


ANYWAY....

As for the game, while it is competitive, it has the expected lack of quality. This includes Napalm Death starting WR Chris Henry, who put up 0. Mud Dogs were helped by the uncanny timing of Jerricho Cotchery, having his best game of the season with 34. Yes, he outscored Tom Brady (only 25! where was that 2 weeks ago, asshole?). ND is still alive because the great game by McNabb (34).

This should be a real barnburner out in San Diego on Xmas Eve night, and we should have ourselves a NEEEEEEW IFL Champion by the time Santa's fatass is trying to get down your chimney, and his name will either be Devo (for the 3rd time, tying Chaos for most all-time) or Mike P (going for his 1st career title).


IFL-BCS

Congrats to Part Time Pimps, as they Pimp slap Ballbusters in the IFL-BCS finals, 147-61. More on PTP below. Mike B wins himself a check worth $20.00 drawn from the Swiss bank account of Ballbusting Robert himself. Talk about adding insult to injury.


WEEK 16 SCRUBBO BOWL

It looks like Wo and his Dragons will win the $20 grand prize. As of now, he has 149 points. Of course I left Boldin and his 46 points on my bench, or else I'd be the frontrunner. I could have used that $20 too, I just ran out of hair gel.


IFL COMMUNITY BULLETIN

Many congrats go out to Mr. and Mrs. Mike B on the birth of a bouncing baby boy. Everyone is doing well, except for their cat Sprinkles, who is not adjusting well at all. But what a wonderful gift for their family right around Christmas.

It is with great sadness that I announce the end of the IFL's Child Subsidy for league fees, retroactive to 2003. There will be no more discounts for owners with children.

John E will be hosting a Christmas breakfast on Dec. 25. If you're in the area, please stop by for some eggs, scrapple, and screwdrivers. It is open to the public, so please pass the news to everyone.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

IFL-BCS First Round

* Miseltoe Bowl fired up by Camel non-filter soft packs
Lizard Kings vs. Notorious RVG
This week's only holiday-friendly event. Santa Claus gives out vibrators to all fans 65 and under.

* Kielbasa Bowl tastily brought to you by Frank's Black Cherry Wishniak
Mighty Meatballs vs. Part Time Pimps
The best of Italy vs. the worst of Poland. Meatball sandwiches are $1 per ball, kielbas' is $1 per inch.

* 4 Kids Bowl sponsored by Adult On Demand
Dead Beats vs. Dragons
Daycare available, as well as photography by Monty Capuletti.

* 4th Annual Dogshit Classic shat upon by Pocoroba Toyota (Why go anywhere else???)
Hit Squad vs. Ballbusters
The DSC is becoming an IFL institution. This year's stipulation: Loser has to clean up dogshit in my backyard then smear it on their face.

Much more will be coming...