Week 3 Monday Night Bush

Week 3 kept the scoreboard operators around the IFL busy once again, and this time the points were mostly coming from an unlikely place - the Linc! An astounding 321 IFL points were derived from the Birds 56-21 thrashing of the Lions. Yes, that is 321 pts in active IFL lineups. But that wasn't all - in fact, maybe the biggest IFL superstar not in Philly yesterday was CTRU RB Ronnie Brown - who put up 52, while sitting on my f***ing bench!!!! You can only imagine the horror as his points added up. You know that feeling, when you are driving down the highway, only to realize you left the car seat on the roof of your car, with your newborn child still in it... that's how I felt as each Ronnie Brown update came across the wire. Yes, it was a conscious move, benching him in favor of Winslow (who was worth 14), one I will forever regret. Regardless, I will still probably win my game, but if I had him in there, I'd be rolling around right now rubbing a $20 bill all over my naked body. Now I might have to wait until tomorrow to do just that.

Only 2 games have real drama tonight, the rest have faux-drama or they’re completely in the books.


Razen Kanes 132, Notorious RVG 127
(RK is done) (RVG has O. Mare)
Now this is what fantasy football is all about, baby! Rooting for FGs on Monday night! But watch out for a 5-point night for Saints K Olindo Mare, in which case we have RVG's 2nd tie of the season, which would be redonkulous. As for Sunday's games, Tone Money was actually very lucky to be in this situation in the first place, thanks to Kevin Curtis' unfathomable 62-point day. Hasselbeck was solid with 26, but other than that, it looked like the Razen Kanes of old, with very disappointing days out of his top 3 picks - Holt (11), S. Smith (2) and J. Walker (3). RVG was led by TJ Housh's 12 catches (37) and Palmer (24). The loser picks up their first loss, but a tie keeps them both undefeated!

Napalm Death 111, Mighty Meatballs 86
(ND has V. Young) (MM has Brees)
With tonight's game being in New Orleans, I'm not going to count Meatball out yet. But once again, he's dug himself a nice size hole with his crap lineup. And he had 2 guys in the Eagles-Lions game! Reggie Brown (4) and T Bell (9)...along with Randle El (5), he's compiled a group of guys who are borderline bye week starters...that's just not gonna get it done. Fast Willie (20) had a nice day despite no TDs, and Branch (19) stepped up a bit though. Devo will not escape my criticism either. His team may have been even more piss poor, save for the heroic performance by Westbrook (55). But the problem here is Galloway (8), D. Williams (4), and Lee Evans (1). Evans can be considered a major disappointment thus far. So this war of attrition (actually more like a sissy fight) will have a bit of drama tonight - and don't be surprised if Meatball pulls it out. If he loses he's 0-3, and Devo can climb the Central ladder at 2-1.

Chinese Toys R Us 165, Lizard Kings 107
(CTRU has Bush) (LK has B. Jones WR TEN)
Despite my raging General Managerial boner mentioned above, I was bailed out by the rest of the CTRU lineup, mostly Boldin (49) along with the buddy men Romo and TO (comb. 58) on SNF. The game was actually tied at 107 heading into the late game, and the first half didn't look pretty. John E, despite being a great host yesterday, received no mercy from me. His only bright spots were Driver (29) and the Steelers D (23). He'll need a miracle of biblical proportions, which means Brandon Jones would need to outscore Bush by at least 58. Despite Jones being an Oklahoma alum, I'll be forced to root for his failure tonight. Although the real drama is whether or not Bush can get out of his slump and lead me to the $20. CTRU is a likely 1-2, while LK is a dreaded 0-3 in that West division.

Nine Fingers 142, Part Time Pimps 84
(9F is done) (PTP has Colston)
Shu continues to plow through the IFL with the greatest of ease. Just a regular day for the Fingers - Moss (33), MBIII (29), Ocho Cinco (27) were top men. No one on the Pimps roster did much of anything, and Crumpler (18) led the way. Ewww. A 58-bomb out of Colston tonight? Not out of the question, the way things are going in the IFL this season. Shu will likely be 3-0 though, and PTP will fall to a very overrated 2-1.

Dead Beats 158, Ballbusters 153
(FINAL)
When you looked at the scoreboard at around 4:30, this game was probably something like 142-130 Ballbusters. The majority of this game was played between 1 and 4, and Bob and Chaos did not fail to partake in the offensive fireworks around the league in said early games. However, some late D. Ward (yes, the FA pickup) action helped Dead Beats to their first win of the season. Talk about balanced scoring, Chaos had all 3 starting RB score exactly 18 points! The problem is, one of those guys was LT, who continues to struggle. Regardless, while Favre (47) outgunned Rivers (36) in real life, the opposite was true in the IFL. Bob also had another stellar day from Peterson (29), the first of many I'm sure, and Addai put up his usual 24. Since this game is so close, the IFL Bureau of Mathematics will re-calculate the numbers of this game many times, but I'll go out on a limb and say both teams are now 1-2.

Dragons 168, Hit Squad 100
(Drag done) (HS has Deuce)
Another game with real-life dueling QBs, this time the NFL winner was also the IFL winner, and Dragons are off the schnide. McNabb's 54 was the icing on a huge day for Wo, but Kitna's 43 was about the only thing Holland could be proud of (other than his 8th-grade diploma). No other double-digit players for Hit Squad, but Deuce gives him false hope for tonite. Dragons also had B. Marshall with 25, and the Dallas D (30) was all over Grossman. Dragons likely have their first win, and Hit Squad is going to be 1-2.

BC Bombers 161, Mud Dogs 118
(FINAL)
BCB holds up their end of the bargain leading into next week's highly anticipated showdown vs. 9 Fingers, with a thrashing of Mud Dogs. Of course Chris T had a substantial slice of the Philly-Detroit offensive pie, with Roy Williams (46). Gates (27) and Portis (21) are other notables in the BC lineup. Mike P. had a decent day, led by Brady's 44, but a couple donkeys hurt him, particularly Hines Ward, who put up 1 single point. BCB is 3-0 to lead the East and Mud Dogs are at .500 after 3 weeks, at 1-1-1.