Week 1 Monday Night Double-headed Pleasure

Very exciting and explosive Week 1 (Eagles loss notwithstanding), but the big story is the pumped-up numbers, thanks to the new scoring system. I figure teams have the potential to boost their #s from last year by 24 points per game. Except for Meatball, who will still be lucky to get 50 every week. 3 IFL games dangle in the balance tonight, highlighted by me and Shu, who each had man-size ejaculations of rich and creamy fantasy football goodness, with the potential to combine for nearly 350 points. What a shame that one of us has to lose. Let's break it down, as we have a double dip of NFL action tonight, Ravens-Bengals and Cards-49ers.


These IFL games will come down to the final gun tonight:

Chinese Toys R Us 151, Nine Fingers 140
(CTRU has Boldin) (9F has Rudi & Chad Johnson)
This was easily the most exciting IFL game of the day. Fingers may have thought they had this game in the bag, but some monster Sunday night performances made this oh so interesting. Romo's 57 made him the high-man for the week in the IFL so far, with 345 yds, and 4 TDs including one 50+ yarder. And to give Shu even more agite, two of those TDs were to TO, who put up 23 after a first half in which he didn't even see the ball. Lamont Jordan's 30 was the other notable performance for CTRU, who bounced back after a sub-par debut by Reggie Bush (8) on opening night. Shu reaped the dividends of the new and improved Randy Moss, his 9-for-183 w/ a 51-yd TD was worth a whopping 44. Also his Vikings D smothered the Falcons and put up 39. Tonight, the deck is stacked in Shu's favor as he has his 1st and 2nd round picks going (Rudi and Ocho Cinco), albeit against the tough Baltimore D. If the Cinci offense explodes, Boldin might not be able to salvage this one, and CTRU will suffer a tough, tough, Week 1 loss and 9 Fingers will win by a nose. Either way, both teams deserve a healthy round of applause for their extremely impressive performance.

Mud Dogs 120, Notorious RVG 79
(MD has Mark Clayton) (RVG has Palmer and TJ Housevanilli)
Mud Dogs were led by Brady (38) and the San Diego DEF (28). Mud Dogs' top 2 RBs, #2 overall pick Steven Jackson (7) and early 3rd-rounder Cedric Benson (6) did not live up to their billing. The Notorious One still has a great chance tonight, but as I mentioned, his Bungals are going against the ravenous DEF of Baltimore. He had solid days out of his #4 overall pick, Alexander (24) and also L Coles dropped 24. 40 points is a lot to overcome, but with the new scoring system, all bets are off.

Hit Squad 97, Dead Beats 70
(HS has nobody) (DB has Edge and Rackers)
Uneven performances from two teams with 5 IFL Plaques between them. Holland had a big day from the Kitna (29) to Calvin Johnson (17) combo, other than that, not much. #3 pick Larry Johnson put up 15, which does not measure up to high expectations. Chaos has a shot tonight, he just better hope Edge has a better night than he did last time he was on MNF (when he was woeful, avging less than 2 yds per carry). He salvaged a nice game out of LT (26), despite him being shut down for the better part of the day. Kinda scary when you think that was a bad day for him. The Seattle D also gave him 25, but count Rivers (7) and Thomas Jones (5) among the disappointments. Once again, the recurring theme is the new scoring system, where 27 points is not a huge defecit for the Dead Beats to overcome.


These games are OVER.

Part Time Pimps 136, Lizard Kings 119
FINAL
Oh, to put up 119 and lose. That is the sad tune being belted out by John E this morning in the shower (I should know, I installed a hidden camera in there), as he tried to ride the 32 put up by Manning on Thursday, but he had some disappointing efforts on Sunday. The Steelers D is about the only bright spot (39). Questionable 2nd-rounder Marshawn Lynch put up a serviceable 17, but 3rd-rounder Brandon Jacobs left the game with an injury (and only 2 pts), and his status is in doubt for the immediate future. PTP looked impressive behind fine performances by Big Ben (32), T Henry (26) and Andre Johnson (38!). Mike B takes his share of the early lead in the IFL West.

Razen Kanes 136, Dragons 74
(RK has Shayne Graham) (Dragons have McGahee)
It will take a superhuman night out of McGahee, but even in this new "steroid-inflated era" of IFL scoring, it will be too deep of a hole to climb out of. Wo-Man suffered behind such performances as Julius Jones (8), Cadillac (9) and the Dallas D (5). His high man was Harrison, who had 18 on Thursday. Tone Money made all the doubters look stupid, with his triumverade of WRs drafted in Rounds 1-2-3 putting up a combined 82 (Smith 36, Walker 25, Holt 21)!!! Once again, Tone proves that he is the damn best. I knew it all along.

Ballbusters 98, Mighty Meatballs 75
(BB has Leinart and Fitzgerald) (MM has Stover)
Year #3 for the Mighty Meatballs starts off the same as the last 2 years have gone, atrociously. In the old scoring system, a 75-point output would be laughable. A 75 this year, and you need to seek help. He had a nice goose egg from Deion Branch, and a whopping 2 out of Reggie Brown to go with the 6-bomb by Drew Brees on Thursday. His high-men were Eagles D (21) and Twilight Zone 3rd-rounder Tatum Bell (19)....but can you really expect Tatum F-ing Bell to keep it up? Ballbusters will surely pad their comfortable win tonight, but it will still look closer than it really is, no matter how many points his Cardinals Connection puts up. Congrats to Bob for his wonderful pick of Adrian Peterson (MIN) - who put up 34 and looks like he will be a force this season, and Addai's 28 on Thursday kicked off the season in an impressive fashion.

Bucks County Bombers 182, Napalm Death 81
(BCB has Gore) (ND has D Jackson and Ravens DEF)
The defending champs prove they were no fluke by pasting 2-time champ Devo. 182 and his 1st-round pick didn't even play yet! Eli and Plaxico almost put up 100 by themselves (48 and 51). Gates also helped the onslaught with 30. ND could not ride the momentum of Reggie Wayne's Thursday night special (35), lowlighted by flaccid performances by Vince Young (9) and Lee Evans (2). A good night by the Baltimore D and Jackson could make his total look respectable, but he ran into a juggernaut yesterday. I don't know if I'd count on that type of game out of the Giants too often though. Anyway, congrats to the Bombers, who look like they will become 2007's first 200-point team tonight.