Weekend Dump! IFL Week 6

It's been a while, lots to catch up on. Here's my weekend dump, right in your mouth, sans the plastic wrap.

Week 4 Results

Hit Squad 129, Notorious RVG 126
Chinese Toys R Us 148, Napalm Death 64
Mud Dogs 114, Dragons 91
Mighty Meatballs 101, Razen Kanes 94
Dead Beats 118, Part Time Pimps 74
Ballbusters 165, Lizard Kings 125
Nine Fingers 104, B.C. Bombers 99 (so much for the shootout we were expecting)

Congrats to Ballbag Bob, he won $20 for the high score in Week 4! A lot easier to pay yourself off, considering you've been spending the $ all along.


Week 5 Results

Dead Beats 123, Notorious RVG 71
BC Bombers 154, Hit Squad 81
CTRU 121, Ballbusters 86
Napalm Death 79, Nine Fingers 68
Dragons 94, Lizard Kings 89
Razen Kanes 104, Mud Dogs 92
Mighty Meatballs 104, Part Time Pimps 82

Congrats to BCB's Chris T, yet another accolade to add to the trophy case, in the form of a shitstained $20 bill. Due to his fantasy greatness, from this point forward, he no longer needs a space between his first and last names, and he will be known simply as Christ.


RB2 update

2 weeks have passed since the last update of the ridiculous Survivor-style contest, Reality Bytes 2. Here's what has transpired since then:

Week 4: ND owner Devo eliminated (64); Ballbuster Bob (165) gained immunity for Week 5

Week 5: in a shocker, 9-fingered owner Shu (68) is eliminated; BCB owner Christ (154) has immunity for Week 6

So far, evicted: Meatball, Holland, Mike B, Devo, Shu
9 persons remain.


Week 6 EYE on the IFL

Pretty lame slate this weekend, let's hope for some fireworks. Here is a panoramic look at the Week 6 schedule.

Mighty Meatballs (2-3) vs. Chinese Toys R Us (3-2). Central matchup. Both teams started off winless, and are now in the midst of winning streaks. Don't be fooled. Meatball was a 78-pt underdog to me before he adjusted his lineup for bye weeks, injuries, etc. Now he's an 86-pt underdog. That being said, watch him win.

Dead Beats (3-2) vs. Mud Dogs (2-2-1). East matchup. Dead Beats also on a 3-game streak. Mud Dogs have Kenneth Darby in their starting lineup. I know 6 teams are on a bye, but my goodness. Actually make that 7 teams - add Dead Beats to the list.

Notorious RVG (1-3-1) vs. BC Bombers (4-1). East matchup. This is the week to get Christ, he has Gore and Roy Will on a bye. That RVG's not a bad team though, despite their piss poor record. I'm picking them in my Vaseline Upset Special of the Week.

Ballbusters (2-3) vs. 9 Fingers (4-1). Central matchup. 2 of the top 4 highest scoring teams in the league. I'm picking the other 4-1 team to fall also. I'm calling it - this year in the IFL is gonna be like college football. Parity galore.

Razen Kanes (3-2) vs. Party Time Pimps (2-3). Pimps are hurtin. Big Ben and T-Hen on a bye. Tone is back from Deutschland with a new lease on life, and a bad case of diarrhea. Kanes big.

Napalm Death (3-2) vs. Dragons (2-3). How about those Rockies? What is it, 19 out of their last 20?

Lizard Kings (0-5) vs. Hit Squad (2-3). The IFL's only perfect team battles the most imperfect IFL owner. Actually, I'm wrong, Holland is perfectly hideous. Anyway, the pain will be over for Johnny this week. Because he is a CommGuru underdog after being a favorite for the first 5 weeks.

Should be a wild 2nd half of the season, I'm really looking forward to some controversial tiebreakers.

Next week.... Week 7 has been Throwback Week in the IFL for the past few years. However, this year we're changing things up and flipping the switch on the time machine. So Week 7 will now be Turn Ahead the Clock Week! Team names from the future, players from the future, and in some cases, owners from the future. How are we going to pull this off? I have no idea. The IFL Party Planning Committee is working on it. One thing we do know is that the NFL/IFL Sunday will be hosted by John E once again, where he will be providing futuristic food such as frozen burgers he's stockpiled for his 2010 Fourth of July BBQ.


FAKE FOOTBALL

I have no comment on College Football or the NFL until further notice.