IFL Reality Bytes 2

With all the bad reality shows littering the TV these days, the IFL decided to strike back last year, creating a little satire called "Reality Bytes". Little did we know it would be a HUGE success (it was the 13th most-watched show among girls 12-18 years old in Uzbekistan). So it is back this year with a vengeance. Read on for a preview of Reality Bytes 2.

14 perfect strangers. 14 personalities. OK only 13, since John E is involved. Actually make that 14, since Ballbustin’ Bob is involved. They all come together once again, to live with each other for 4 months in a 2 bedroom apartment in Port Richmond, with no windows and no contact with the outside world, except to change their fantasy lineups and make bets on NFL and college games. And no congenital visits from wives/girlfriends/boyfriends.

Only one person will get out alive. It’s the IFL’s original reality series, Reality Bytes 2.

Let’s meet this year’s cast.

Holland. Homeless person, from parts unknown. He won last year’s Reality Bytes competition. Definitely the 2^nd most abrasive person in the RB2 apartment.

Chris T. Male flight attendant, Buffalo, NY. Finished 2^nd last year in Reality Bytes, also the defending IFL Champion.

John E. Scientist/Inventor, Brigantine, NJ. Currently working on a cure for swamp ass. Let me know how it’s going, Johnny.

The Wo-Man. Circus Performer, Great Adventure, NJ. Standing 6’8”, Wo will surely have trouble fitting in the RB2 shower.

Tone Money. Vending Machine Technician, NE Philadelphia Airport. The only bi-racial member of the RB2 cast, he is half-black, the other half is more black.

Chaos. Housewife, Yardley, PA. His blatant lies and backstabbing warranted his early eviction from last year’s RB house.

Biff P. Cocktail waiter, Atlantic City, NJ. The commissioner of the IFL and also the most confrontational cast member. His poor attitude (and poor team) got him kicked out early last season.

Devo. Robot, Silicon Valley, CA. He can calculate the exact molecular composition of a fart from across the room, which should be very helpful this season.

Ballbusting Bob. Public defender, Washington, DC. Bob’s legal background gives him a defined psychological advantage, but his interpersonal skills are abysmal. Which makes for great TV.

Shu. Office worker, Tel Aviv, Israel. Shu is actually Hebrew royalty, but is knocked down to earth a couple pegs dealing with the swine in the RB2 apartment.

RVG. Professional Painter, North New Bumblefuck, PA. The rotund RVG is known for knocking back the pizzas and painting detailed murals on the inside of the toilet bowl.

Mike P. Opium Salesman, West Chester, PA. The most fantatically religious houseguest. Last season he spilled his coffee on Holland’s bare chest, creating a scar that resembles Jesus Christ.

Mike B. Corporate Risk Manager, Norristown, PA. Unpopular houseguest for the most part, although he is very adept at unclogging the toilets with his bare hands. He will be very busy this season.

Joey Meatballs. Sous chef, Pizza City, Philadelphia, PA. Meatball was very popular in the house last year as people would use him as an ottoman.

RULES – Each week, the houseguest with the lowest score in their IFL game is kicked out. The person with the highest score for the week has immunity for the following week. If there is a tie for low score, all people tied are evicted. If there is a tie for high score, all people tied are safe from eviction the following week. We play until only 1 person remains. That person wins a set of steak knives.