IFL-BCS First Round results and Week 15 Bowl schedule

Even though we're living in a corporate world going to a corporate hell in a corporate handbasket (by Gucci), there were 4 very important football games played last week. Let me tell you about them.

But first, Stop over at Pocoroba Toyota, where you can lease a 2007 Camry for only $299 a month ($1999 down tax tags and title not included everyone is guaranteed to be approved not a guarantee)!!! And get free coffee and donuts while you wait for us to wash and dry your new 2007 Camry, only $299 a month! Pocoroba Toyota, you oughta go to Pocoroba Toyota.


Ragu Instant Classic sponsored by Kaopectate
Biff Pocoroba Massacre over Razen Kanes by 31

Cue up the ladel bath. And BPM had the high score for the week out of all teams playing, including the dopey playoff teams. Tone Money falls to the laughingstock of the IFL regular season for the 2nd time in 3 weeks. I guess he's not laughing now. Oh wait he's the Damn Best, he can laugh whenever he wants.


Babies R Us Bowl brought to you by Delicious Vinyl Records
Blue Dogs over Dragons by 21

This is when Ballbuster Bob is at his best - when the games mean the least. Dragons failure of a season continues.


Oscar Mayer Bologna Bowl fuckin presented to you as a Chanukkah gift from me, Mike Holland (and please, don't get me anything in return)
Nine Fingers over Dead Beats by 23

Thanks again to Holland for sponsoring this fight-filled debacle, or basically, thanks for nothing. Never again will we accept an I.O.U. as payment from a sponsor.


"Phit to be Untied"...
Napalm Death over Mighty Meatballs by 8

Rumor has it this may be the last we've seen of both teams in the IFL. I am expecting at least one resignation on my desk by Thursday at 9am. Assuming it will get buried in my in-bin like the rest of the junk, I will respond no later than 2011.


Which brings us to the Week 15 Bowl Games. All five of them.

Nirvana Bowl sponsored by CVS brand Heel Balm (IFL-BCS Semifinal)
Biff Pocoroba Massacre vs. Blue Dogs

Blue Dogs will be mailing in the plays from DisneyWorld. BPM will be mailing them in from Swingers Camp at Club Hedonism in Jamaica (I am going there for business).


Mr T Experience Bowl bringed to you by the Skool Distrct; uv Filladelhpia (IFL-BCS Semifinal)
Nine Fingers vs. Napalm Death

Winner gets a $1 shopping spree at the Dollar Store (taxx not included!), and a copy of MTX's classic 1988 LP "Big Black Bugs Bleed Blue Blood" on blue vinyl (valued at $150).


And now for the crappy non-BCS games.

3rd Annual Dogshit Classic by Mennen
Lizard Kings vs. Mud Dogs

You know this one. Loser eats dog doo-doo. Don't bitch, Holland lost this game 2 years in a row and he turned out fine. Just look at him.


Mr. and Mrs. "Down To Earth" Jay Shapiro cordially invite you to the Bowl Game between Dragons and Dead Beats sponsored by and played at 1110 Sansom St.

Game starts promptly at 5pm. Rabbi Moishe Martorelli will be presiding. Mazeltov!


Man I hate when sponsors take up the whole name of the Bowl Game
(Mighty Meatballs vs. Razen Kanes)

Due to contractual reasons, I am not allowed to talk about this bowl. In fact, I probably just said too much.