Monday, October 13, 2008

Week 6 Monday Night Macaroons

Tons of fun, with all the exciting finishes in the NFL yesterday. Let's see if the IFL can match it, with 3 games dangling in the balance. F the Phillies, I'll be watching the Giants-Browns game to see if I get my 12 out of Eli, Jacobs, and Edwards. Then once I win at like 8:45 hopefully the Phils will still be batting in the top of the 1st (2 outs, bases loaded for Werth....)

These games have implications:

Ballbusters 125, Hit Squad 100
(Ball has Giants D, Hit has Hixon?)
If Holland wins tonight, I will award him the Bifford K. Pocoroba Memorial GM of the Year award. In fact, I will walk to his house barefoot and present it to him. Ballbaggy had great games out of MBIII (45), Brees (39), and Crayton (23). Hit Squad rode Portis (32) and McNabb (24) to potential defeat. We'll see what happens tonight, I'll be watching this one closely, as I play Bob next week, and I play Holland in a few weeks with $10 on the line. Balls can be 5-1 and tied atop the Central (or tied w/ RVG at 4-2), Hit Squad will be 5-1 with a win and atop the West, or more likely possibly muddled in a 3-way orgy with Rich & Creamy & Shu (unless Shu screws the pooch tonight).

9 Fingers 127, Mighty Meatballs 119
(9F has Toomer, Meat has Carney)
Interesting. A WR vs a kicker. Not all is as it seems in the IFL however, and although Eli throwing TDs to Toomer will ultimately help my cause, I need Meats to win. But enough about my personal problems, Shu had 38 out of Rivers and 30 out of Wayne. Meatball had 37 out of Peyton (about time, ya dick) and 35 out of Berrian?!? Should be a good one, tune in tonight on ESPN, especially if the Phillies are getting blown out again. Shu needs the win to stay on the cusp of West supremacy, Meat can be tied for 1st in the East with a win at 3-2-1!

BC Bombers 100, Rich & Creamy Nougat 88
(RCN has Eli, Jacobs, and B Edwards)
Wow I almost won without 3 of my best players. I should take care of that tonight, barring any miracles by the lake. Gore (25) and Steve "Succulent" Breaston (29) were huge. Nothing like huge Breastoneseses. Man the jokes can go on forever. But they won't. Starting next week, with my big matchup vs. Ballbusters, it is ALL business. btw Chris T is vacationing in the rainforests of Costa Rica, so he probably just assumes he lost anyway. The Noug will go to 4-2 putting them in a likely 3-way tie atop the West, BCB falls to a putrid 2-4, good for last place. I should include this factoid - both teams were 0-2 in West division games heading into this tilt.

These games don't:

Napalm Death 106, Razen Kanes 90
FINAL
Tone Money can't catch a damn break. Edge worth only 2 and JTO'S worth only 6! He shoulda won, dammit! Tone's high scorer was the Vikings D, of course, with 22. As for Devo, this week's QB (Schaub) was worth 32, so a damn fine managerial decision, and that's coming from someone who makes a lot of great managerial decisions. Actually Schaub was his only active, starting QB this week, but let's give the man credit. Bush also put up 21 in a winning effort for ND. Napalm climbs to 3-3, Tone falls to 1-5. Tone basically needs to win 10 straight games and he'll be IFL Champion.

Lizard Kings 127, Mud Dogs 116
(LK has Plaxi-ass)
Whenever Mike P loses, I smile. But the problem is, whenever John E wins, a kitten dies. What a dilemma! In this case, it's not really a tough choice, as I'd microwave a cat every week if that meant Mud Dogs would go 0-13 (and that is coming from a fervant lover of pussy-cats). Buckhalter came up huge for Johnny with 30, so let's call him the Oscar Mayer Bologna player of the game. Andre Johnson led MD with 36. What does this all mean? Well Mud Dogs' faggy grip on the East loosens up (but he's still in 1st at a laughable 3-2-1), and Lizard Kings are 3-3. Oh, the crazy East!

Dragons 132, Purple Throbbing Pens 75
FINAL
Poor Mike B. 5 straight losses. One more and he's out of the league. As for Wo, it's a bittersweet symphony of TDs and gay sex, as Tony Homo puts up 49 but is out for a month with a broken pinky. Rumors say it snapped off inside TO's butt. Dragons are among the best in the league at 5-1 (tied atop the tough Central), while Mike B is one of the worst of all time in any sport, at 1-5.

RVG 150, Dead Beats 104
FINAL
Congratulations are in order to Dead Beats, not only as they celebrate 2 consecutive Jewish holidays, but they lost their 6th straight to open the 2008 IFL season. Not a terrible performance, as MJD put up 33, but dopes like J Porter (0.0) and Roy Williams (4) didn't help the cause any. RVG is on fire though, he's the highest scoring motherf-er in the league, and he's reportedly down to 135 lbs. as he prepares for the stretch run. Well-balanced attack for NotRVG, Rodgers (28), T Jones (28), a couple other solid guys as well who I don't feel like listing. Worth mentioning is that both kickers scored 20... Chaos' Josh Brown (20) and RVG's Elam (21). RVG even won that contest. He is now 4-2 and yet still a game behind the 2 clowns leading the Central. Dead Beats are 0-6 and I think that means they are in last.


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