Thursday Night Lights - The NFL/IFL kicks off

It's the hated Redskins vs the despised Giants, Thursday night to kick off the 2008 football season. Kickoff is at an inconvenient 7:00 PM. Giants are -4 in this game played in the great state of New Jersey. Sounds low for the Super Bowl champs? maybe...

Let us take a look at this NFL Opening game's impact on the IFL.

• Rich & Creamy Nougat vs. Hit Squad

The returning RCN fields 2 main players in this game - 3rd rounder Brandon Jacobs and 7th rounder Eli Manning. Holland will put his 2nd rounder, Clinton Portis, out there in what will be a sure loss for the Hit Squad. The winner of this one is on the way to West Division supremecy.

• Lizard Kings vs. Ballbusters

John E trots Plaxico out there for his lottery winning L-Kings, and Ballbusting Bob hopes the G-Men DEF can suck the life out of the Redskins' O. This is our only non-divisional game of the week.

• 9 Fingers vs. Bucks County Bombers

Shu will go with Santana Moss, while Chris T is without a player in this West Division shootout.


LEGALIZED GAMBLING

I made 2 prop bets at the Draft, if you haven't heard, here's what they are:

vs. Devo - who will win more regular season games - my RCN or his Napalm Death? $10 a game is the bet. For the mathematically impaired, i.e. I go 10-3, he goes 5-8, he owes me $50. Wins only, ties might as well be losses.

vs. Holland - $10 a game, heads up. So in our season series - RCN vs. Hit Squad - if there is a sweep the loser owes the winner $20. This wasn't agreed upon, but I propose, if we meet a 3rd time in the postseason, double or nothing.

I am taking on ANY reasonable prop bets - head-to-head games, more wins, more points, whatever. $1 a point, let's go. Who wants some? Or challenge someone else. Let's make it interesting. How about Shu vs. Tone Money.


DRAFT VENUE AFTERMATH

Another class act put on by Mike B. Only complaints were the unhealthyness of the food (although it was tremendously good), and the lack of desserts! Come on, you have 14 fat bastards, and the 1 dessert went in 2 minutes. Chaos almost cried when he didn't get any. Of course RVG was the first to stuff his (previously) fat face.

Other than that it was great. In all seriousness, thanks for your hard work, and generosity.

Weird World of NFL News

Shu's last round draft pick is a thief. Welcome to Detroit, Rudi.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3567561

*

Week 1 Schedule

Mighty Meatballs vs Napalm Death
Mud Dogs vs Razen Kanes
Notorious RVG vs Dragons
Dead Beats vs PTP
Rich & Creamy Nougat vs Hit Squad
9 Fingers vs BC Bombers
Lizard Kings vs Ballbusters

update - 12th round

still waiting on dessert. A major brouhaha erupted over a rule change discussion. The possibility of a free-for-all free agent period was brought up. Chris T was vehemently opposed to this. Bob took the pro-free-for-all position. Voices were raised.

ah....dessert. If people would make their picks as fast as they ran their fat asses out to the kitchen to stuff their faces, this draft woulda been over. It is 6:39 and we're in the 12th round. We just might break the record for longest draft.

8th round Live Blogg

Shu starts off the 8th w/ Kitna as his first QB. maybe I shoulda waited on a QB.

Holland baffles everyone and takes Gostkowski. first kicker! congrats asswipe.

BREAKING IFL NEWS - the Schedule is done. To be announced shortly.

Toadvine takes the full allottment and picks MoMo, fittingly, since he is a momo.

I then take A Gonzalez, one of my shallow sleepers. 4th WR. I still only have 2 RBs, Gore and Jacobs. There's a couple guys I can get next time around. No one really that good, but its slim pickins at this point for RBs.

Wo takes K Warner as his backup to Romo.

RVG takes Stallworth

Chaos takes Rivers

Seattle D for Mike B

its getting a bit dicey now, a lot of junk flying off the boards so this will conclude the Live Blog for today. Check back often.. over the next 4 months!

7th round LIIIIIIIVE Blog sort of

Tone goes DeSean Jackson. The guy is all over the place today.

Devo goes D Mason. I'd rip him but he's stadning right behindme.

Mike P goes Ronnie Brown.

Meatball goes Ricky Williams, and everyone rips Mikes' R Brown pick, and he gets steamed again. he is taking serious abuse today.

Environmental update -

It is sunny and not a cloud in the sky today. Hot as balls. Getting thrown in the pool was really a godsend at it cools you off seriously. It is a beauty of a day, one of the best ever. Also there are tons of bees infesting the Draft area. It is like the scene from Tommy Boy. We are near an evacuation alert. Hopefully no one gets stung. I'd say its 50/50 at this point. Not good.

Ballbusters take Crayton. I woulda wanted him.... but I got Witten so I'm ok with it. One Cowgirl is enough.

PTP takes their 2nd QB, Garrard. To go along with D Anderson.

I guess I'll take a QB next cause the rest of the position players are iffy, or sleepers. I can wait.

Bob just came up with a great idea. Whoever takes more than 5 minutes gets zapped with Mike B's electrical fly swatter. The suggestion is greeted with wild applause.

Chaos takes Jerry POrter

RVG takes DAllass D

Wo reaches for Slaton at 7.10 - it was met with derision (but he was the next highest RB on my board)

I finally take my QB - Eli.

Someone called Wo and he is giving the guy Phillies updates. They are winning 5-2 in the 8th. Moyer.

Holland actually picks Chicago D before Chris T makes a pick, we know he wasnt going D so the move was deemed legal.

Chris T then takes Javon Walker

Shu - PITT D

6th rd LIVE BLOG

3 picks real quick

Shu goes Kevin Smith and S Moss

Hols takes Gonzo.

I thought Shu would take a QB. 3 other guys need a QB, should I risk it and wait. Looking to see who I can take.....tough choice coming up.

Chris T takes SD D. egh. I stay away from QBs and go Burleson.

I get into the pool, not 100% voluntarily, and here are the rest of the 6th round picks

RVG - A Rodgers
Chaos - Chambers
Mike B - F Taylor
Bob - Ginn Jr
Meat - Berrian
Mike P - Julius J
Devo - Chris Johnson
Tone - Curry?
John E - Hasselbeck (F U) and J Stewart

more to come...

5th round!!! LIVE

Ellis goes LenDale White and Gates! More questionable stuff from the Oracle. 15 non-championship seasons and counting, and I think we'll see 16.

Tone Money comes off with the shock of the draft so far, MINNESOTA D at 5.02. wow.... I guess they were the best available.... ghh

Devo takes the 3rd TE off the board, Winslow Jr.

more Pisco........as we wait, and wait, and wait..........and wait.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ugh. some controversy as Shu blows up at Pisco, and Pisco yells at Shu. Every year, the tension... come on. Pisco has to write-in Favre, and takes his sweet-ass time. ok

Meatball comes up pretty quick - takes Coles

Snyder - Lee Evans. Nice, some better Wrs are coming my way.

Mike B takes an inordinate amount of time....for.... searching the labels...Hines Ward. nice

Sheet. Chaos takes Cutler, who I woulda taken at my pick 5.11.

RVG goes Matt Forte. Rookie RB, starter. Chicago's O stinks though. Didnt really want him.

i'm going to have a tough choice.....QB or RB/WR??? and come back with QB at 6. Wo goes DeAngelo Williams

I eschew QB and take Dwayne Bowe. Set my starting lineup in the first 6 rds. Shu will prob take a QB at the turn, I'll take whichever one he takes out of the 2 next on my list...

CHris T on the clock! ...............Roddy White.

Hit Squad right up, and takes Driver. Solid WRs going now.

Shu...for 2

4th round LIVE BLOG

Shu for a deuce. I am looking good to get my guy, maybe.... and he takes Jennings and... FUCK my guy Holmes

Holland is a real wild card. and a prick. Him then Toadvine. Hols goes M Harrison.

Toadvine is next, so I will now take a smoke break. eyeing up one of 2 WRs. CT goes McGahee. Kind of a dilemma now.

OK I go Witten, taking the 1st TE. Tough choice between him and a WR. He will probably go inthe next couple picks, but I went Witten since he catch a ton on a great offense. The other guys offense could be good too, his team might suck...i dont know, thats my logic. Witten it is. The classic RB/WR/RB/WR, uhh TE - Gore, Edwards, Jacobs, Witten

and Wo Man takes my guy next- Chad Ocho Cinco. The injury slightly worried me, not to mention his malcontention, and the fractious nature of the Bengal team.

RVG - Willie Parker. Not bad.

Chaos - Selvin Young. a Denver RB....could be great, could be a disaster

Mike B, is he going kicker? No, he goes Derek Anderson. could be a 1-year wonder. nice that a QB I'm not really eyeing up goes off the board.

Ballbusters go Chris Perry. not bad, he's a starting RB, at 4.9

Meatballs take McFadden. Rookie RB....on the Raiders, well see. could be a steal.

Mike P.....agonizing waiting for his picks. Every year the guy does it. Who is his 4th rounder... Earnest Graham. i wasn't crazy about him, but I guess a solid pick for this round.

Devo stands right up and takes Big Ben. More QBs going off the list. i did like Big Ben but there are others I like better.

Tone Money ponders. He laments. Hems and haws. then he stands and slaps Edge on the board. The guy was a career first rounder, now slipping to the late 4th. I had him 2 years ago and he was a 1st round bust. Hes a starter... but he has been for the last 2 years in Arizona. So I wasnt necessarily eyeing him up.

Ellis coming up for 2.....

more 3rd round shenanigans

Ellis takes 2 beauties at 2.14-3.1 - Welker and Burress. not too high on those picks.

Tone now has J Lewis and Maroney to go with Brady

Devo has tons of receptions - Westbrook, Holt, Bush

Meatball's team looks surprisingly scary after 2, Moss and Manning. Brandon Marshall at 3.5! I was hoping he would fall to me. Meat looks lke he's going to be tough in 2008.

Bob - M Turner. not bad. He has MBIII, Brees and Turner. the early QBs are making teams look good.

Mike B goes w/ Boldin to match w TJ and Addai.

Chaos goes Roy Will. Nice. another guy not on my radar. 2 to go then me, and i have two guys eyed up.

Feck. RVG goes one of my guys, Calvin Johnson. Can I dodge Wo? doubtful, since he needs an RB.

ok cool. Wo goes Cotchery. now i get my guy....

B Jacobs. Last RB in my tier I was aiming for. Now I have some decent WR options coming up. Or a starting RB, 3 of which are left that I want.

Toadvine goes Palmer. I'm not looking QB till later, now that the Big 4 gone.

And Holland takes McNabb! Qbs flying off.

Shu for two..........

Live Blog from IFL Draft

Here we are. Currently in the 2nd round. I had the 11 and got Gore and Edwards not bad.

here are the divisions

East - Ellis, Tone, Devo, Mike P, Meatball
Central - Ballbusters, Mike B, Chaos, RVG, Wo
West - Whit, Chris T, Holland Shu

Pisco and Chris T taking forever as usual. Holland is on Blunt #2....RVG with two questionable picks - Fitz at 1.9 and T jones at 2.6. Wo has Owens and Romo. I got them at 2 and 4 last year. Brees went to Bob at 2.9, then Manning went 1 pick later to Meatball.

weather: hot as balls

Odds to Win 2008 IFL Championship

Ladies and gentlemen, live from the strip in Las Vegas, inside his personal executive men's room stall in the penthouse of the most luxurious, over-the-top resort in the universe, the Tangiers Hotel and Casino, we bring you Sam "Ace" Rothstein's Odds to win the 2008 IFL Championship!!!

Wo------------------------- 6-1
Chris T--------------------- 8-1
RVG----------------------- 10-1
Whit----------------------- 12-1
Mike B--------------------- 13-1
B'busting Bob-------------- 15-1
Shu----------------------- Shu-1
John E--------------------- 16-1
Devo----------------------- 20-1
Tone $--------------------- 25-1
Meatball------------------- 33-1
Chaos---------------------- 44-1
Mike P---------------- 45,000-1
Holland---------------- 1,000,000,000,000-1 (one trillion-to-one)

Despite the long odds, save your money on Holland, invest in junk bonds or start lending money to high-risk borrowers or something. Mike P's 45K-1 looks enticing, but must I remind you again, there has never been a repeat champion, and not to mention, he is a dope and he will not win again. The odds on Wo-Man are a little ambitious, as he has his hands full with other things and I do not feel he is fully focused on football. Shu's odds look rather tasty, even though I am not sure what the payout would be. My best bet would be Tone Money at 25-1, as I feel he is on the cusp of greatness. Put your house on it. And if you lose your house, you can always stay at the Tangiers Hotel and Casino for a couple weeks.


Please give a warm welcome to Nevada State Gaming Commission director of alcohol, cocaine, heroin, and fantasy football, Mr. Lester Diamond, who will give us the particulars on the over/unders for IFL wins.

(regular season wins only)

Tone $----------------- 13.5
Wo---------------------- 9.9
Christ------------------- 9.001
RVG-------------------- 8.5
Whit-------------------- 8.5
Mike B------------------ 7.5
Ballbusting Robert------ 7.25
Shu--------------------- 6.5
John E------------------ 6.5
Devo-------------------- 6.5
Meatball---------------- 5.5
Chaos------------------- 4.5
Mike P------------------ 2.5
Holland------------------ 0.0



And now, let me introduce my good friend from back home, Nicky Santoro, who will deliver the prop bets for the 2008 IFL Draft.

Gambling lingo
+ means bet $100 to win that much
- means bet that much to win $100

Holland showing up at the draft
Yes +1400 (bet $100 to win $1400)
No -2000 (bet $2000 to win $100)

Mike B will put grill marks on his schlong
Yes -360
No +450

Meatball will almost drown in the kiddie section of the pool
Yes -500
No +600

Wo-Man will accidentally bump his head on the sun
Yes -110
No -110

Chris T will say something interesting
Yes +240
No -278

RVG will show up 100 lbs lighter than last year
Yes -1500
No +1750

Shu will bring a date to the draft
Yes +140
No -160

the date will be under the age of 18
Yes -400
No +369

the underage girl could probably draft better than Shu
Yes -420
No +399

Holland will leave with Shu's date
Yes -110
No -110

Out of these 4, who will be dressed the worst?
Mike P------------- 1-3
John E------------- 5-1
Devo--------------- 8-1
Tone Money----- 500-1

Who will win the 2008 IFL Gut Contest sponsored by Folgers?

Holland--------- even $
Chaos----------- 4-1
Whit----------- 10-1
BB Bob--------- 18-1
Devo----------- 22-1
RVG---------- 140-1

(inside info: the Gut Contest will likely be fixed so that Snyder wins it, so expect his odds to decrease dramatically in the hours before the shirts come off)


Please fill out bet slips COMPLETELY before coming to the Tangiers Sportsbook window. Anyone caught cheating will have their hand pounded with a hammer, their balls stabbed with ice picks, their head squeezed in a vice, and will be pummeled with a Louisville Slugger by Frank Marino, and left to die in a shallow grave in the desert outside Las Vegas. Thanks for playing with us and make sure you tip your valet parking attendant!


Sincerely,
Sam "Ace" Rothstein
Tangiers Casino Head of Monetary Operations
Host of "Aces High" TV variety show
IFL Gambling Consultant

Make A Wish

The RC has been discussing a rule change, and we're looking to get the input of all owners to see where you all stand on this.

We're discussing abolishing the wishbone (3 RB) starting formation. Which would mean, you can only start a maximum of TWO RBs in your lineup.

This would add an interesting strategic wrinkle to your draft/roster strategy. There are several ways of thinking here.

With the increase in # of RB-by-committees across the NFL, there are less quality starting RBs to go around. So people hoarding the RBs early, will essentially be drafting their 1st backup by the time they draft their 3rd RB.

By the same token, this could make RBs more valuable, and it may be worth it to some to fortify their depth by drafting multiple RBs early. But as I said, it would be along the same line as taking a 2nd QB in an early round (sort of).

I'll leave the rest to your imagination. Please go to the IFL website and vote on the poll. It will be up until Sunday 8/10, and a decision will be made by the RC early next week, if not sooner.

2008 IFL Draft date

OK it's official - the 2008 IFL Draft is on for Sunday, August 31, 2008, which is the Sunday of Labor Day weekend. Location TBD.

The first NFL regular season game is Thursday, September 4 - Washington @ NY Giants, on NBC.

IFL Rules Committee update - IR shelved

The IFL Rules Committee convened at the Neshaminy Motor Lodge on Route 1 for their first mindmeld of the 2008 offseason. Here are the notes.

• A blacklight revealed trace amounts of semen on the carpet.
• Ballbusting Bob did not wash his hands after going to the bathroom, then proceeded to eat a turkey hoagie.
• Wo-Man discovered a hidden camera behind the mirror on the ceiling.
  

And now for the RC activity.

There will be a pretty major structural change to the IFL rosters starting in the 2008 season. Here are the major bullet points:

• There will be no more Injured Reserve. If a player is on your roster, he is either considered Active (starting) or Reserve (benched).
• The IFL Draft will be 16 rounds this year, and rosters will stay at 16 for the duration of the season. There will be no expansion at the roster deadline.

This IR reform was necessitated by the NFL's controversial decision to change the manner in which teams report injuries in the days leading up to the game. See this post for the details.
If you recall, it wreaked havoc with our IR last year, creating such ambiguity that even the brilliant minds of the IFL RC could not come up with a perfect solution. Therefore, it has been decided that the best solution to avoid controversy and having to dance around these ridiculous new NFL injury labels, was to eliminate IR altogether.

Yes, you could be screwed if 3 of your guys Did Not Practice and you have another 4 on a bye week. Such is life in fantasy football.

The Rules Committee meets next at the Borgata, Room 4016, in Atlantic City on June 14.

State of the IFL

As we all try to recover from the abomination that was Mud Dogs winning the IFL, we must put that behind us and move forward. CHANGE is the key word here for 2008. A new champion, a new page in IFL history. And imagine this scenario - just as Obama might be the first black president, will we have the first black IFL Champion? That, my friends, is doubtful.


THE R.C.

It is with a heavy heart that we bid adieu to RVG from the Rules Committee, and welcome Shu into the fold. The Committee has not yet convened for their annual offseason meeting/BBQ, but hopes to begin conversations on how to tinker with the most mundane details of the league within the next couple weeks. As the "new guy" of the RC, Shu is responsible for dropping off and picking up my dry cleaning during the season.

As always, if you have any suggestions/complaints/compliments about the league or its rules, please let us know. You can also drop off any notes in the suggestion box outside my office if you wish to remain unanimous.


DRAFT

I will be sending an email to everyone soon to gauge availability for Sunday, August 31, which is the projected Draft date. If you are willing to put your name in the hat as a host, speak up. Mike B had previously whispered in my ear that he might be willing to do it again... that would be fine with me.


EARTH DAY

If you have any hard copies of old IFL updates, please place them in your local recycling recepticle. If you're lucky, they will end up as toilet paper and someone will soon be wiping their ass with your team.

Also, please place any old IFL trophies into your recycling bin on trash day. The wood alone from those things would feed over 900 beavers.


Expect to hear from me some time around Memorial Day.

Good luck with finals.

Commissioner
Vernon W. Pocoroba (D-N.J.)

2007 IFL Championship Game: Napalm Death vs. Mud Dogs

Heading into Monday Night (Denver @ SD), Mud Dogs lead Napalm Death, 115-104. It is simple as this - Devo has Brandon Marshall, Mike P has Chargers D. Or is it that simple? Could you imagine a tie in the Championship??? It would go to the IFL's convoluted Playoff Game Tiebreaker System, IFL Rule III. Part d. (that is not a joke, it is on the Rules page of the IFL Website).

Which states:

d) Playoff GameTiebreakers:

1) Total NFL value of TDs, FGs, XP, 2 pt conv. scored by starting lineup (inlcuding defensive and return TDs) (all TDs worth 6, FGs worth 3, etc)

2) Most IFL points by highest remaining draft pick in starting lineup

Based on those criteria,

1) Mud Dogs lead Napalm Death 35-29. A Marshall TD could easily create a tie, 35-35. And we would go to

2) Mud Dogs - Steven Jackson (19); Napalm Death - Brian Westbrook (18).

Yes it is a longshot, but that would be very interesting and controversial. And here at IFL Blog News, we thrive on controversy.


ANYWAY....

As for the game, while it is competitive, it has the expected lack of quality. This includes Napalm Death starting WR Chris Henry, who put up 0. Mud Dogs were helped by the uncanny timing of Jerricho Cotchery, having his best game of the season with 34. Yes, he outscored Tom Brady (only 25! where was that 2 weeks ago, asshole?). ND is still alive because the great game by McNabb (34).

This should be a real barnburner out in San Diego on Xmas Eve night, and we should have ourselves a NEEEEEEW IFL Champion by the time Santa's fatass is trying to get down your chimney, and his name will either be Devo (for the 3rd time, tying Chaos for most all-time) or Mike P (going for his 1st career title).


IFL-BCS

Congrats to Part Time Pimps, as they Pimp slap Ballbusters in the IFL-BCS finals, 147-61. More on PTP below. Mike B wins himself a check worth $20.00 drawn from the Swiss bank account of Ballbusting Robert himself. Talk about adding insult to injury.


WEEK 16 SCRUBBO BOWL

It looks like Wo and his Dragons will win the $20 grand prize. As of now, he has 149 points. Of course I left Boldin and his 46 points on my bench, or else I'd be the frontrunner. I could have used that $20 too, I just ran out of hair gel.


IFL COMMUNITY BULLETIN

Many congrats go out to Mr. and Mrs. Mike B on the birth of a bouncing baby boy. Everyone is doing well, except for their cat Sprinkles, who is not adjusting well at all. But what a wonderful gift for their family right around Christmas.

It is with great sadness that I announce the end of the IFL's Child Subsidy for league fees, retroactive to 2003. There will be no more discounts for owners with children.

John E will be hosting a Christmas breakfast on Dec. 25. If you're in the area, please stop by for some eggs, scrapple, and screwdrivers. It is open to the public, so please pass the news to everyone.

IFL-BCS First Round

* Miseltoe Bowl fired up by Camel non-filter soft packs
Lizard Kings vs. Notorious RVG
This week's only holiday-friendly event. Santa Claus gives out vibrators to all fans 65 and under.

* Kielbasa Bowl tastily brought to you by Frank's Black Cherry Wishniak
Mighty Meatballs vs. Part Time Pimps
The best of Italy vs. the worst of Poland. Meatball sandwiches are $1 per ball, kielbas' is $1 per inch.

* 4 Kids Bowl sponsored by Adult On Demand
Dead Beats vs. Dragons
Daycare available, as well as photography by Monty Capuletti.

* 4th Annual Dogshit Classic shat upon by Pocoroba Toyota (Why go anywhere else???)
Hit Squad vs. Ballbusters
The DSC is becoming an IFL institution. This year's stipulation: Loser has to clean up dogshit in my backyard then smear it on their face.

Much more will be coming...

UPDATED Playoff Scenario heading into Week 13

DIVISION WINNERS

EAST - BC Bombers have clinched. They will get a 1st-round bye.

CENTRAL - Napalm Death and CTRU are tied at 9-3, ND has the tiebreaker (better division record). The winner of the division gets a 1st-round bye.

WEST - Razen Kanes have clinched, they have a 1-game lead and tiebreaker over Part Time Pimps (div record). They will be the #3 seed.


WILD CARDS

Both ND and CTRU have clinched a playoff spot, one of them will win the division, the other will be the #4 seed. 9 Fingers have clinched a Wild Card spot. They will be the #5 seed if they win in Week 13. The final playoff spot is between Mud Dogs (6-5-1) and Part Time Pimps (6-6). Mud Dogs just need a win or PTP loss in Week 13 to clinch. Part Time Pimps need both a win AND a Mud Dogs loss to clinch.


KEY GAMES IN WEEK 13

9 Fingers vs. CTRU - a 9 Fingers win clinches the Central for ND. It will also make 9F the #5 seed, and setup a rematch in Week 14 vs. #4 CTRU in the Wild Card Round. CTRU needs to win and have ND lose to win the Central and #1 seed. That will relegate ND to the #4 seed and 9F to either the #5 or #6 seed, depending on Mud Dogs winning.

Napalm Death vs. Ballbusters - ND wins, they're the Central champs and #1 seed. Ship the $175 to Devo. They can still get win the division with a loss and CTRU loss, however, if that happens and BCB wins, ND will slip to the #2 seed.

Part Time Pimps vs. Dragons - PTP needs a win and help, in the form of a Mud Dogs loss. In that case, they will almost assuredly be the #6 seed. (in the event of both PTP and 9F finishing at 7-6, 9F would most likely win the total points tiebreaker - they currently lead by 89 pts).

Mud Dogs vs. Lizard Kings - Lizard Kings spoiled PTP's division chances in Week 12, now they can spoil Mud Dogs' playoff chances. A Mud Dogs loss coupled with a PTP win, means Mud Dogs are out.

BC Bombers vs. Hit Squad - BCB only has the possibility of the #1 seed to play for. A win coupled with CTRU and ND losses will give them the #1 seed and $175.


REMINDER - PAYOUTS for playoff seeds (and potential payees)

#1: $175 (ND, CTRU, or BCB)
#2: $150 (BCB or ND)
#3: $125 (Razen Kanes)
#4: $80 (CTRU or ND)
#5: $70 (9 Fingers or Mud Dogs)
#6: $60 (Mud Dogs, 9 Fingers, or Part Time Pimps)

PLAYOFF SCENARIO after 12 weeks

OK here's the latest.... two games hang in the balance tonight, but they're biggies.

Lizard Kings lead PTP by 2, LK has Pitt DEF and PTP has Big Ben. Too close to call, even though Ben could have a nice game, they are playing Miami, so you can make a case for Pitt D to go off. This would score John E. huge grinch points, as PTP would pull into a tie for 1st place in the West with a win.

Also, Hit Squad leads Mud Dogs by 3, but MD has Hines Ward and Jeff Reed, so it is likely that they will win, so we're going to give him the victory for now (and if we jinx Mike P., oh well!).

So the preliminary Week 12 results are-

CTRU over Dead Beats
Mud Dogs over Hit Squad
BCB over RVG
Napalm Death over Meatballs
Ballbusters over Razen Kanes
9 Fingers over Dragons
Lizard Kings vs. PTP - TBD


Who's IN the playoffs

• BC Bombers (8-4, East champs)
• Napalm Death (9-3)
• Chinese Toys R Us (9-3)

Who's OUT

• Lizard Kings
• Dead Beats
• Hit Squad
• Ballbusters
• Mighty Meatballs
• Dragons
• Notorious RVG

Hanging in the Balance by a Ballhair (1 of these 4 will NOT get in)

• 9 Fingers
• Mud Dogs
• Part Time Pimps
• Razen Kanes

DIVISION RACES

In the East, BCB (8-4) has clinched the division thanks to their win over RVG.

In the Central, Napalm Death and CTRU (each 9-3) are tied for 1st, but ND has the tiebreaker thanks to his better division record (6-1 vs. 5-2), and controls their own density. An ND win (vs. Ballbusters) in Week 13 gives Devo the division and the #1 seed. The only way CTRU can win the division is a combination of a Week 13 CTRU win (vs. 9 Fingers) and an ND loss. Whichever of these two does NOT win the division will definitely be the #4 seed.

In the West, Razen Kanes lost, so they are only 0.5 games ahead of PTP, so that game is huge tonight. If PTP wins, they will be tied for 1st place. Next week's games feature PTP vs. Dragons and RK vs. Dead Beats. The tiebreakers between PTP and RK will likely go to the 3rd tiebreaker, total points, which PTP currently leads by 20 (not including tonight's points). So PTP has the edge there. However, if PTP loses tonight, Razen Kanes will clinch the West division, because they will win the 2nd tiebreaker, division record (RK is 5-1, PTP would be 3-2 with a loss).

As for the byes, it is essentially a lock that BCB and the Central winner will be the top 2 seeds. BCB can gain the #1 seed, only by winning next week, AND with both ND and CTRU losses. This would bring them into a tie w/ ND at 8-5, and BCB defeated ND during the season so they would have the tiebreaker over them. Otherwise, as long as the Central winner wins his game next week, they are the #1 seed and BCB are the #2. The West winner will most likely not have a bye, since it will come down to a tiebreaker with BCB, and neither Kanes nor PTP played BCB during the season, so it would go to the total points tiebreaker, which BCB should win comfortably against either of them.


WILD CARDS

The 2nd place finisher in the Central is a guarantee for the #4 seed, so we only have 2 more wild card spots to fight over. And it will be between these teams:

the 2nd place West team (either PTP or RK)
9 Fingers (7-5)
Mud Dogs (6-5-1)

Everyone else is eliminated. So all you 5-7 teams can start shining up your bowling shoes - Ballbusters, Meatballs, Dragons.... and Notorious RVG (5-6-1) is also eliminated because of the head-to-head tiebreaker against Mud Dogs.

Also, 9 Fingers clinches a wild card spot if PTP loses their game tonight.

If PTP wins tonight, that would put them in a tie for 1st place in the West w/ Razen Kanes at 7-5, and tied in the WC race with 9 Fingers (7-5). If all 3 of these teams win next week and go to 8-5, they're all IN the playoffs and Mud Dogs stay home. However, if Mud Dogs win (vs. Lizard Kings), and ANY of the 7-5 teams lose, Mud Dogs will be IN the playoffs at 7-5-1.

As for tiebreakers between PTP, Kanes, and 9F.... PTP and Kanes won't need a wild card tiebreaker, since one of them will win the division. 9F owns the tiebreaker over PTP thanks to their head-to-head win in Week 3. If RK and 9F need a tiebreaker, it will come down to total points since they didn't play each other this year - 9F currently owns a 115-point edge, so they will likely win that tiebreaker. Furthermore, the only way 9F does NOT get in, is if PTP wins tonight, and 9F loses to CTRU next week (likely), and PTP and RK both win next week.

So if PTP (vs. Dragons) and 9F (vs. CTRU) both win next week, they're IN - 9F would be the #5 seed, PTP would be #6. If Mud Dogs win (vs. Lizard Kings), they would need either 9F and/or PTP to lose to get into the playoffs. If Mud Dogs win and both 9F and PTP lose, Mud Dogs would be the #5 seed and 9F would be the #6 seed due to the tiebreaker.

Now....if PTP loses tonight, it's more cut and dry, and it clinches playoff spots for 2 teams... Razen Kanes win the West and the #3 seed, and 9 Fingers clinch a wild card spot. That also means PTP would be 6-6 and will need a win next week (vs. Dragons) AND a Mud Dogs loss. A PTP loss or a Mud Dogs win would eliminate PTP from the playoffs because of the tiebreaker vs. 9F.

Confused yet? Wait until PTP and Lizard Kings tie tonight, and then someone else ties next week.