Week 8 Preview - by Ballbustin' Bob

(ed. note: the following was authored by Newberry Award-winning writer Ballbusting Bob. It is published completely uncensored. Mature adults may not even be mature enough to read this.)

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Notorious RVG (3-4-1) @ Dead Beats (3-5)
These two great clubs are languishing in the bottom of the East Division. Winner of this game gets to continue to hold onto playoff hopes. Loser of this game gets to hold on to the hopes of a good draft next year.
Dead Beats have lost 3 straight even with the amazing play of LT.
RVG has a decent squad led by the Bengal Duo of Palmer and Housh. Throw Braylon Edwards into the mix and this squad can score a ton of points.
* RVG by 5.

Part Time Pimps (3-5) @ Razen Kanes (5-3)
Kanes started off the year on a tear but have lost their last two. A loss here to division rival PTP would make the West completely up for grabs (excluding Lizard Kings who are out of it). Kanes are in disarray due to injuries. Holt continues to be hurt and is on bye this week. No running game also hurts the Kanes. David Carr doesn't know how to throw the ball to Steve Smith. This team looks like the Eagles.
PTP come off winning high of the week and face their hated division rival. Maroney is back and looking good. Unfortunately with every addition their is a subtraction, Travis Henry is hurt and looks to be suspended sooner rather than later. At least Andre Johnson is back.
If you're unfortunate enough to get this game on cable, gouge out your eyes with a spoon.
PTP by 21.

MudDogs (4-3-1) @ Mighty Meatballs (3-5)
Mud Dogs come off a nice win and are right on the heals of their division leading Bucks County Bombers. They're lead by the great Hines Ward (2 TD's last week) and uh…lots of other really nice players. Stephen Jackson is on a bye but that's no loss since he's decided not to play this year.
Meatballs had a crushing loss on MNF and look to salvage their season. A win here puts them back in the mix for a wildcard, a loss makes this another disastrous season. Props to Joey MeatGenius, if he wins one more game this year he's doubled his IFL win total! Meatballs are lead by Addai and Brees.
I'll take the Meatballs with extra sauce (not gravy!). Meatballs by 12.

Bucks County Bombers (5-3) @ Dragons (3-5)
BCB looked unstoppable early on but have come back to earth showing how human they are. A win here keeps them on top of the East, a loss opens the door for anyone to step up. Kevin Jones has stepped in and looks to be a monster in the making. Team that with Roy Williams, Antonio Gates, Clinton Portis and now Selvin Young…jeez this squad looks good. BCB has to do without Plaxico and Eli this week.
Dragons are still contending for the division. A loss last week would have killed their hopes but all their last second wheeling and dealing helped them to a victory. Now its time to see if they can victories together. Luckily they face an easy oppon…oh wait, he's playing BCB…good luck Dragons. Try a tail whip or something. Failing the tail whip technique, Dragons need to rely on Reggie Wayne and McGahee. Hopefully Lee Evans continues to produce like last week
BCB looks too tough to overcome. BCB by 43.

9 Fingers (5-3) @ Lizard Kings (1-7)
9 Fingers need a win to keep pace with the division leaders. 9-Fingers are lead by Randy Freaking Moss, Kenny Watson and Chad Johnson. This squad could do some damage in the playoffs.
Lizard Kings need a win for some sense of dignity. The Kings have a solid squad lead by Peyton and Lynch.
I predict an upset victory here by LK. LK wins a squeaker by 7.

Hit Squad (4-4) @ Napalm Death (6-2)
Napalm Death is showing signs of life after their few year hiatus from the IFL. A win here today keeps them at least tied for the division lead. A loss makes this division wide open for everyone. They are lead by McNabb, Westbrook and Galloway. I thought this was a pretty weak squad but they made some definite improvements last week in a trade to Wo. Hopefully McNabb and Westbrook continue the trend against the cowboys and Devo scores some points.

Hit Squad is only a game back of their division lead. A win here muddies up the East as well. They're lead by Larry Johnson, MJD and the great Gonzo.
Prediction : Tie

GAME OF THE WEEK:

Ballbusters (4-4) vs. Chinese Toys R Us (6-2)
CTRU are on an absolute tear. 6 wins in a row and each has been between 35 and 84 points. The closest to a victory during this stretch were the Ballbusters in week 5 and that game wasn't close. A loss today for the Ballbusters could spell doom for their division hopes. Ballbusters are used to never winning a division so nothing really new there.
Ballbusters will have newly acquired Willie Parker and Deion Branch to their already formidable lineup. Will Addai continue to outperform Parker and Joey MeatGenius prove he's the better IFL owner? Hopefully not.

No prediction!