Week 11 Monday Night Malfeasance

Egh. What a day. Football on TV was a crap-o-rama (thanks to Fat Andy) and my winning streak is finally over (I know, WAAAAAA I lost!). And yes, you can pin this loss on Mr. Nougat himself, thanks to my overanalysis of the matchups. Bench Brandon Jacobs vs. the Ravens? Sure! Anyway, whatever, that's what fantasy is all about. Second guessing your bad decisions. I'm not gonna sit here and lament Pierre Thomas' 24 pts that I left on the bench. Nor will I do anything gay like announce my retirement in some elaborate fashion. You just gotta pick yourself up and keep pressing on. Let my stupidity be a life lesson to you all.

Despite the dreadful NFL day we had, the IFL was a veritable carnival, playoff implications and all. Here's a look at what hinges on tonight's abysmal Browns-Bills matchup, and the games that are already part of IFL mythology.

IMPLICATION CITY

Napalm Death 81, Razen Kanes 73

(ND has Winslow, RK has J. Lewis)

Pretty simple here... Devo's slender playoff hopes rest on beating a team who makes the Bengals look competitive. A loss here and he's 2 back in the division. If you can't win this one, the Dogshit Classic is the place for you in Week 14.

Lizard Kings 132, 9 Fingers 83

(9F has M. Lynch)

This is basically over, as Shu's once promising season (he started 3-0) is quickly turning to shit. Johnny E. Goode should be able to maintain his lead in the East barring Marshu Lynch turning water into wine or loaves into fishes.

These games are OVER.

Hit Squad 125, Rich & Creamy Nougat 103

FINAL

We can discuss my miscalculations all you want, but I'll spare you the greusome details. Ryan Grant (27) and Kevin Smith (22) freakin killed me here, not to mention the sudden impotency of Tim Hightower (3). And what's up with Delhomme throwing for under 100 yds for the second straight week. Piss poor. I wish I could still add/drop people because he would be kicked to the curb. Anyway, both teams are now 8-3 in the West, but Hit Squad has swept the season series, hence they are in the drivers seat. Holland enjoy that $20 bill, because I am going to wipe the sweat off my balls with it before I give it to you.

Mighty Meatballs 130, Mud Dogs 87

FINAL

My favorite IFL team in Week 11 was victorious! Meatball snapped the tie that bound him with Mike P, and dealt a serious blow to his playoff chances (he said blow). Meats are 6-4-1, Dogs are 5-5-1. As predicted, Manning went apeshit (33), but we did not expect the great day out of DeAngelo Williams (35). I'll take it.

Purple Throbbing Pens 176, Dragons 100

FINAL

Holy shit, Batman, what got into PTP? TJ Housh 37, Addai 36, Boldin 36, and HWard 27, that's what. That would give him the weekly $20 for the 2nd straight week, a grand total of 338 points in the last 2 weeks. I guess the purple throbbing pen15 shot his load, now he can become theNoto floppy flaccid phallus that he normally is. He's now 5-6 and not quite out of it yet, I don't think (although I have to do the math later tonight). As for Wo, another disgraceful day...he's 6-5 and fading fast!

Notorious RVG 122, Dead Beats 90
(RVG has Lindell)
Another day at the office for RVG, as he sends Chaos to his 10th loss of the season. And he left these guys on the bench: W. Parker 17, Thomas Jones 24, and Justin Gage 41! Thanks for not running the score up. The football gods may yet reward you. As it stands, RVG is still in 1st by a game, tied for the best record in the league at 8-3 with the other 2 clowns.

Ballbusters 103, BC Bombers 89
(Bob has L. Evans)
Congrats to BCB for putting forth a full effort this week (he actually had 8 active players in there). It was no match for the stinky ass of Ballbusting Bob. Although he may have been sweating a little bit until MBIII's Herculean effort on SNF (32). He is only a game back in the Central at 7-4.

Good luck to all tonight, and after everything shakes down, we just might have an idea of this whole playoff picture thing.

F Holland

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