Lot of action last night...lot. of.. action. But the big star from last night's Jets-Pats game was nowhere to be found in an IFL lineup! Yes, Matt Cassel and his 51 was on the bench of guess who? The BC Bombers. Yet another embarassment for the beleaguered former champion Chris T (which should in turn embarass all of you, the fact that he actually won this league). I would normally cut him some slack, since it was a tough decision between starting Cassel and Jason Campbell, as the Jets D was highly regarded... but still - LOL what a dope.
Before we take a look around the league and see how last night's slugfest in Foxboro affected the Week 11 games, let's quickly peek at the playoff standings.
If the season ended today (sponsored by FrankTV):
1. Rich & Creamy Nougat (8-2, 1st place West)
2. Notorious RVG (7-3, 1st place Central)
3. Lizard Kings (6-4, 1st place East)
4. Hit Squad (7-3, 2nd place West)
5. Dragons (6-4, tied for 2nd, Central)
6. Ballbusters (6-4, tied for 2nd, Central)
and now for Week 11...
THE $20 SLOBERKNOCKER BETWEEN 2 SLOBS
Hit Squad 16, Rich n Creamy 0
Last night: Hit Squad got 16 out of Gostkowski. I was not thrilled to see 16 out of Holland's (7-3) kicker, but I weathered a flaccid effort from Braylon Edwards (2) last Thursday and managed to outpoint Shu. This week RCN (8-2) faces considerably tougher matchups across the board. The Giants face the Ravens, which means bad matchups for Eli and Jacobs. As such, RCN owner Trenton Titsworth is highly considering starting Jake Delhomme (who plays Detroit) at QB. Jacobs will likely stay in the lineup, but the tough decision will be who sits between Tim Hightower, Dwayne Bowe, and Vincent Jackson. If I start Hightower and Jackson, that means I'll have 3 guys that Wo traded to me in my lineup. Thanks big guy, hope you enjoyed Bulger's -1 last week. As for Hit Squad, the big question mark is Clinton Portis, and that would be huge. As of now he has not practiced and may not play. Wonderful. Although McNabb could light it up vs. the Bungals. I would not be surprised if Holland picks up Greg Lewis and starts him, and Lewis puts up a 40-bomb.
Anyway, this is our Game of the Week, as the playoff and financial implications are huge. If Hit Squad wins, I owe Hols $20 (as per the terms of our prop bet), and he moves in to 1st place in the West thanks to the head-to-head tiebreaker (he is going for the sweep). If RCN wins, that all but locks the division up, as Nougat would have to lose their last 2 and Hit Squad win the last 2. Not to mention the #1 seed would be looking very good also, as RCN defeated 7-3 RVG earlier this season.
UNTIED: THE REMATCH
Mighty Meatballs 28, Mud Dogs 24
(Meatballs had Coles - 8, R. Moss - 11, and Pats D - 9. Mud Dogs had Favre - 24.)
Needless to say, things are looking bad for Meat (5-4-1). Moss would have been even worse if he didn't catch that last second TD. His only saving grace could be if Peyton absolutely torches the Texans. As for Mud Dogs, they are looking at pretty good matchups all the way around...which sucks because I always root against Mike P. Come on Meat, I'll buy you the first drink at John E's Xmas Party if you win!
In terms of playoff implications, this is a pretty huge game. The loser will probably be at least 1.5 games out of the last playoff spot, not to mention lose the head-to-head tiebreaker vs the winner. So this is essentially almost a playoff game in Week 11. Getcha popcorn and blunts ready.
WHEN YOU LOOK AT WO-MAN FROM A DISTANCE, HE KIND OF LOOKS LIKE A SCHLONG
Dragons 17, Purple Throbbing Penis 15
(Dragons had Cotchery - 17 and Green-Ellis - 0. PTP had Jets D - 15)
Not sure what happened to Ben Jarvis and Green Ellis last night, but they combined for oogatz. PTP (4-6) had a slightly disappointing night out of NYJ D, after they scored a TD on a KO return. But the suddenly vulnerable-looking Dragons (6-4) get a shot in the arm as Tony Homo returns to the lineup. This may be a double dose of good news as that we could also see TO return to glory for the Wo.
I think PTP is still alive by a miniscule thread of ball hair, so of course a win would be huge. Not to mention the goodwill they'd gain across the league by defeated the hated Wo-Man. Wo obviously needs this one bad to keep up with his Central counterpart Ballbusters, who have an easy game this week.
THERE WILL BE BLOOD (AND PROBABLY A SHU MELTDOWN)
Lizard Kings 22, 9 Fingers 0
(Kings had Welker last night - 22)
I don't need to tell you the enormity of this game, it would be redundant. Whenever Lizard Kings (6-4) and 9 Fingers (5-5) meet, it's always a bloody mess, and someone always gets their feelings hurt. John E got about what he expected from Welker last night. I could feel Shu wincing from my house every time Welker had the ball thrown near him.
L-Kings control their own destiny in the East, but they are far from a lock for the playoffs, as the 4th place team is only a game behind. Fingers obviously need lots of wins...or else they will miss out on the fabulous IFL postseason party (which will be catered by Club Risque this year).
EVIL vs. EVIL
Ballbusters 0, B.C. Bombers 0
I am more mad about Bob possibly not losing to another horrible team, than I am about Chris being non-competitive. But BCB's actions are still deplorable. Cassel: 51 on the bench. I saw Bob chortling in the parking lot this morning as he stuffed his face with a cheese danish. You know the deal, Ballbusters (6-4) are on the cusp of postseason glory, and only a game back of 1st. But one slipup could make his playoff dreams go *poof*. BCB (3-7) is currently pondering which Bowl invitation to accept.
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY FINANCIAL FUTURE DEPENDS ON TONE MONEY'S SUCCESS
Napalm Death 0, Razen Kanes 0
Let us take a moment to laugh at the fact that Holland gave Tone Money (1-9) his only win this year. LOL...Holland sucks. Speaking of money, I am on the verge of winning my other famous prop bet... as I hold a 3-game lead over Napalm Death (5-5). What did we say, $10 a game, Devo? F you, pay me.
I THINK I JUST SHIT MY PANTS
Notorious RVG 0, Dead Beats 0
Dead Beats on a 1-game winning streak. RVG is fighting for the bye. Something must give. And I think it was my rectum. Oh well, another pair of soiled boxers down the tubes. I just hope I didn't leave bacon strips on the ass of my khakis.
REMAINING SCHEDULES of POTENTIAL PLAYOFF PARTICIPANTS
Lizard Kings: 9 Fingers, Mud Dogs, Meatballs
Mud Dogs: Meatballs (loss), Lizard Kings (loss), RVG (loss)
Meatballs: Mud Dogs, Razen Kanes, Lizard Kings
Napalm Death: Razen Kanes, Dead Beats, Rich & Creamy
Notorious RVG: Dead Beats, Ballbusters, Mud Dogs
Dragons: PTP, Rich & Creamy, Ballbusters
Ballbusters: BCB, RVG, Dragons
PTP: Dragons, Hit Squad, Dead Beats
Rich & Creamy: Hit Squad, Dragons, Napalm Death
Hit Squad: Rich & Creamy, PTP, BCB
9 Fingers: Lizard Kings, BCB, Razen Kanes
Bowl-eligible: Razen Kanes, Dead Beats, B.C. Bombers
Good luck!
T. Titsworth
*
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment