Cambodian Slick's IFL Semifinal Preview

#4 Notorious RVG (9-5) vs. #1 Hit Squad (12-1)

Season series: Hit Squad took the only meeting this season between these 2 dopes, a 105-69 win in Week 12.
All-time series: Holland leads, 8-6
All-time playoff head-to-head: The 2 owners have never met in the playoffs.
Career Playoff records: Holland, 5-3 (1996 Champion); RVG 4-6.
Playoff appearances: This is Holland 5th appearance in the Playoffs. It is RVG's 7th appearance.

For the first time this year, Hit Squad finds themselves coming off a loss, after running off 12 straight wins to open the season, which is considered by many the greatest regular season feat in IFL history. He matches only Napalm Death of 2000, who also went 12-1. However, ND lost in the championship that year. For Hit Squad to meet the same fate would be a bitter disappointment, to say the least. But first, they must get past an explosive Notorious RVG squad.

Hit Squad has annihilated competition this year, winning its games by an average margin of 55 points. They scored 1711 points during the regular season (132 ppg), which in my estimation, is the greatest regular season of all time. His lineup is filled with fantasy superstars such as Westbrook and Chad Johnson, both 1st team All-Intensers, and he had the #1 QB in the IFL (McNabb) until his untimely demise. Not to mention as the team with the last free agent pickup every week, he somehow managed to snag the FA pickup of the year, Marques Colston. And last I heard, Holland was close to discovering cures for both cancer and AIDS (which he undoubtedly contracted from one of the scores of hookers he's bought with his league winnings). What a great team, and a great man. And guess what? None of that means jack shit now. One loss, and he's done. A mere footnote on the 2006 IFL season, while some other clown gets his name on the Trophy.

He goes into battle with solid but unspectacular Jeff Garcia at QB. Garcia has not put up the lofty numbers of his predecessor, but he's been OK, putting up 15, 35, and 16 in his three starts. Against the Giants at the Meadowlands in a game with huge playoff implications, he will be tested. Westbrook should be good for his usual 20ish a game, and Chad Johnson could light up the Colts papier mache defense for a big night. As of now Colston is not in his starting lineup, but I suspect he will be come Sunday vs. the Redskins and their weak D. WR Lee Evans has had a couple nice games this year (and one HUGE one), but for the most part he's been average. Then you have either Travis Henry or Alge Crumpler as the 6th man in the lineup, and this is where the hole in the lineup could be. Henry is listed as questionable for a tough game vs. the Jags, so it might be Crumpler in there, who has had one good game and then been subpar for the rest of the year. Hit Squad's Bears D could be the X-factor though. They play against a putrid Tampa Bay offense. Potential exists for a 40-point game out of Da Bears D.


As for RVG, it's been a bittersweet season. On a personal note, he's played his last game in the cozy urban confines of Philadelphia, as he will leave this offseason for his new headquarters in Souderton, PA (aka Bumblefuck). This alone has caused much stress for the Whole F*ckin Dope, but adding to his headache is the fact that he had the Central Division by the gonads after Week 11, but lost his last 2, dropping the division to BC Bombers and falling to the #4 seed. Luckily for RVG, his Wild Card opponent was the limp Lizard Kings led by their controversial GM, John E. The Kings promptly laid down as usual and RVG moved on. This week offers a much more stern test.

If last year's game against Cincinnati is any indication of how Peyton Manning is going to perform, RVG is in good shape. However, Manning has been going through one of the toughest phases of his NFL career lately, with the Colts losing 3 of their last 4 after opening the season 9-0, and some people starting to question Big Brother Peyton. Going in the opposite direction lately is rookie sensation Reggie Bush. He has busted out for a couple big games after a quiet start to his IFL career. However, other matchups don't seem to be in RVG's favor. Andre Johnson could be in for a tough matchup vs. New England, while his 2 starting TEs, Gonzo (SD) and Winslow (Balt) each face difficult defenses. And starting RB Kevin Jones is now out for the season, so WR Santonio Holmes is inserted in the RVG lineup. Not much is expected from Holmes. On the defensive side of the ball, the Giants are at home vs. the Eagles, who have been doing an excellent job taking care of the football lately. Add in the fact that Strahan is out for the game, and their pass rush looks very suspect.

I can see Manning coming back and having a nice game, but I just don't think it's going to be enough to stay with the Hit Squad. Bears D should obliterate the Bucs, and that might kill any chance RVG has. Keep in mind that RVG's Manning and Hit Squad's Chad Johnson, are each playing on Monday night, so it is highly doubtful that this game will be decided until the wee hours of Tuesday morning, so we should be in for an exciting edition of MNF. Other national TV players are Hit Squad TE Crumpler (Saturday night), RVG TE Gonzalez (Sunday night), Garcia and Westbrook (4pm Sunday) and RVG's Giants D (4pm Sunday).

Prediction: Hit Squad by 25.
CommGuru sez: Hit Squad by 21.