1. D McNabb QB Hit Sq 167
2. P Manning QB RVG 102
3. Westbrook RB Hit Sq 100 (4 gm)
4. M Bulger QB PTP 96
5. L Johnson RB D Beats 95 (4 gm)
6. Grossman QB L Kings 95
7. B Favre QB BPM 91
8. E Manning QB 9 Fing 88 (4 gm)
9. F Gore RB BCB 88
10. D Brees QB ND 83
Friday, October 13, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Week 6 pickup order
1. Mighty Meatballs (0-5 304 pts)
2. Nine Fingers (1-4 369 pts)
3. Biff Poco Mass (1-4 477 pts)
4. Blue Dogs Group (2-3 407 pts)
5. Dragons (2-3 434 pts)
6. Lizard Kings (2-3 442 pts)
7. Dead Beats (2-3 465 pts)
8. Nucular Death (2-3 478 pts)
9. Part Time Pimps (3-2 498 pts)
10. Notorious RVG (3-2 513 pts)
11. Mudd Dogs (4-1 416 pts)
12. Raisin Kanes (4-1 457 pts)
13. Before Christ Bombers (4-1 549 pts)
14. (s)Hit Squad (5-0 613 pts)
Good luck scraping the bottom of the barrel!
2. Nine Fingers (1-4 369 pts)
3. Biff Poco Mass (1-4 477 pts)
4. Blue Dogs Group (2-3 407 pts)
5. Dragons (2-3 434 pts)
6. Lizard Kings (2-3 442 pts)
7. Dead Beats (2-3 465 pts)
8. Nucular Death (2-3 478 pts)
9. Part Time Pimps (3-2 498 pts)
10. Notorious RVG (3-2 513 pts)
11. Mudd Dogs (4-1 416 pts)
12. Raisin Kanes (4-1 457 pts)
13. Before Christ Bombers (4-1 549 pts)
14. (s)Hit Squad (5-0 613 pts)
Good luck scraping the bottom of the barrel!
Monday, October 09, 2006
Week 5 Monday Night Morbidity
GAME OVER
Blue Dogs 85, Notorious RVG 82
FINAL - (RVG is done, BD has Jamal Lewis)
Blue Dogs off the snyde with a fair and balanced lineup, featuring Plexiglass (15), Reggae Brown (13) and Boldin (13). RVG was killed by a couple donkey games - 1-point efforts by both Gonzo and Wilford. Blue Dogs need 58 out of Lewis to win the $20. They're at 2-3 while RVG falls to 3-2 in the Central.
Dead Beats 103, Mighty Meatballs 20
FINAL
In what is by far the most troubling and apathetic (and pathetic) performance in IFL history, Meatball starts 3 players who were well known to be OUT - Stallworth, Culpepper, and Vinatieri. Unacceptable effort. Dead Beats had a decent day anyway, so we'll say they deserve the W. LJ had a big day with 27, but was hurt late in the game. Stay tuned for his prognosis. Dead Beats will be 2-3 in the East. Meatballs are 0-5.
Razen Kanes 83, Nine Fingers 56
FINAL
I can't knock Shu too much because at least there is some semblance of an effort there. His team just had a subpar day yesterday. OK he's having a subpar year. TO was worth 3, and that pretty much set the tone for the rest of his lineup. Speaking of Tone, the Damn Best is a shocking 4-1 in the West but in 2nd place! Deuce led the way with a 21-spot. Shu falls to 1-4 in the Central.
Hit Squad 143, Mud Dogs 46
(HS is done; MD has Mark Clayton, WR-Bal)
OK I'm officially frightened by Holland. However, I still say this team will go as far as McNabb and Westbrook take them, and if they stay as white-hot as they are, it could be a 10-year anniversary championship for Hit Squad. Mud Dogs were basically exposed for the pathetic team that they are, and I truly feel this week was more of an indication of how good the team is as opposed to their 4 wins. Hit Squad remains atop the West at 5-0, Mud Dogs still in 1st in the East at 4-1.
NOT SO FAST, MY FRIENDS
Dragons 89, Biff Pocoroba Massacre 53
(DGNS are done; BPM has Stover and Balt D)
In this matchup between the dregs of the West, it will come down to defense and special teams - which is what fantasy is all about. Balt D is averaging about 31 ppg, so it's not inconceivable that the Massacre pulls this out, but in Denver it might be a tough night for them. Hopefully Stover will bang a couple 50-yarders in that mile high air. As for Dragons effort yesterday, they were aided by the Dallas D's 21 while Wo-Man was not even watching the game! In fact, I would bet that he was secretly rooting for the Cowboys deep down inside. How can you root for this guy? You can't. The winner of this one will be 2-3 in the West and the loser will fall 4 games back of Hit Squad at 1-4.
BC Bombers 102, Lizard Kings 94
(BCB is done; LK has J. Walker and Heap)
I'd have to say chances are good that BC Bombers have lost their first game, at the hands of none other than John E. Lizard Kings' big hitter was the Eagles D, worth 37 in a herculean effort. BCB had a better than expected effort out of fill-in QB Damon Huard (22 pts), and starting RBs Gore and C. Taylor each chipped in 21. But that was about it, and on this day, the Eagles D looks like they will reign supreme again, unless Walker and Heap each lay major league eggs, which is definitely possible.
Part Time Pimps 114, Napalm Death 72
(PTP has D. Mason; ND has Broncos DEF)
PTPs were hugely aided by their D and special teams (hopefully a sign of things to come for me tonite) - with Vikings D worth 39 and Robbie F'n Gould putting up 23. At this rate he'll be the first kicker to be NFL MVP since Mark Moseley in '82. As for the IFL, he's still considered half a man. Speaking of half-men, half-robots, Devo is in danger of slipping to 2-3 in the East. Pimps are in danger of going to 3-2 in the East.
Blue Dogs 85, Notorious RVG 82
FINAL - (RVG is done, BD has Jamal Lewis)
Blue Dogs off the snyde with a fair and balanced lineup, featuring Plexiglass (15), Reggae Brown (13) and Boldin (13). RVG was killed by a couple donkey games - 1-point efforts by both Gonzo and Wilford. Blue Dogs need 58 out of Lewis to win the $20. They're at 2-3 while RVG falls to 3-2 in the Central.
Dead Beats 103, Mighty Meatballs 20
FINAL
In what is by far the most troubling and apathetic (and pathetic) performance in IFL history, Meatball starts 3 players who were well known to be OUT - Stallworth, Culpepper, and Vinatieri. Unacceptable effort. Dead Beats had a decent day anyway, so we'll say they deserve the W. LJ had a big day with 27, but was hurt late in the game. Stay tuned for his prognosis. Dead Beats will be 2-3 in the East. Meatballs are 0-5.
Razen Kanes 83, Nine Fingers 56
FINAL
I can't knock Shu too much because at least there is some semblance of an effort there. His team just had a subpar day yesterday. OK he's having a subpar year. TO was worth 3, and that pretty much set the tone for the rest of his lineup. Speaking of Tone, the Damn Best is a shocking 4-1 in the West but in 2nd place! Deuce led the way with a 21-spot. Shu falls to 1-4 in the Central.
Hit Squad 143, Mud Dogs 46
(HS is done; MD has Mark Clayton, WR-Bal)
OK I'm officially frightened by Holland. However, I still say this team will go as far as McNabb and Westbrook take them, and if they stay as white-hot as they are, it could be a 10-year anniversary championship for Hit Squad. Mud Dogs were basically exposed for the pathetic team that they are, and I truly feel this week was more of an indication of how good the team is as opposed to their 4 wins. Hit Squad remains atop the West at 5-0, Mud Dogs still in 1st in the East at 4-1.
NOT SO FAST, MY FRIENDS
Dragons 89, Biff Pocoroba Massacre 53
(DGNS are done; BPM has Stover and Balt D)
In this matchup between the dregs of the West, it will come down to defense and special teams - which is what fantasy is all about. Balt D is averaging about 31 ppg, so it's not inconceivable that the Massacre pulls this out, but in Denver it might be a tough night for them. Hopefully Stover will bang a couple 50-yarders in that mile high air. As for Dragons effort yesterday, they were aided by the Dallas D's 21 while Wo-Man was not even watching the game! In fact, I would bet that he was secretly rooting for the Cowboys deep down inside. How can you root for this guy? You can't. The winner of this one will be 2-3 in the West and the loser will fall 4 games back of Hit Squad at 1-4.
BC Bombers 102, Lizard Kings 94
(BCB is done; LK has J. Walker and Heap)
I'd have to say chances are good that BC Bombers have lost their first game, at the hands of none other than John E. Lizard Kings' big hitter was the Eagles D, worth 37 in a herculean effort. BCB had a better than expected effort out of fill-in QB Damon Huard (22 pts), and starting RBs Gore and C. Taylor each chipped in 21. But that was about it, and on this day, the Eagles D looks like they will reign supreme again, unless Walker and Heap each lay major league eggs, which is definitely possible.
Part Time Pimps 114, Napalm Death 72
(PTP has D. Mason; ND has Broncos DEF)
PTPs were hugely aided by their D and special teams (hopefully a sign of things to come for me tonite) - with Vikings D worth 39 and Robbie F'n Gould putting up 23. At this rate he'll be the first kicker to be NFL MVP since Mark Moseley in '82. As for the IFL, he's still considered half a man. Speaking of half-men, half-robots, Devo is in danger of slipping to 2-3 in the East. Pimps are in danger of going to 3-2 in the East.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Week 5 Slick Picks
Cambodian Slick had last week off, but it was no vacation. I had to travel back to Cambodia to settle a paternity suit. That is all I’m allowed to say according to my attorney.
NFL PICKS
This week’s NFL slate is highlighted by the battle of the Bay, 49ers vs. Raiders. That game promises to be so intense, that I refuse to pick it, for fear of offending anyone.
Giants 36, Redskins 21 (NYG -5)
Chargers 24, Steelers 17 (SD -3)
Ravens 16, Broncos 6 (Den -4)
Eagles 17, Cowboys 16 (Philly -2)
COLLEGE PICKS
A little revenge is in order for the Sooners this week, as the Red River Shootout takes place down in the Cotton Bowl. Texas snapped a 6-game losing streak to Oklahoma in last year’s game.
Penn State 34, Minnesota 23 (PSU -3)
LSU 21, Florida 17 (LSU -1.5)
Georgia 30, Tennessee 28 (Tenn -2.5)
California 41, Oregon 34 (Cal -4.5)
Oklahoma 20, Texas 16 (Tex -4)
Kent 34, Temple 8 (Kent -24)
Anyone who is a 24 point dog to f’n Kent, is a dog who needs to be shot.
IFL PICKS
I’m all over the favorites this week.
Biff Pocoroba Massacre over Dragons
Napalm Death over Part Time Pimps
Dead Beats over Mighty Meatballs
BC Bombers over Lizard Kings
Notorious RVG over Blue Dogs
Razen Kanes over Nine Fingers
GAME OF THE WEEK: Mud Dogs (4-0) vs. Hit Squad (4-0). It’s been a while since 2 IFL teams who were unbeaten faced off this late in the season. The last time was 1974 when Jebediah Snyder’s Testes Busters and Grandpa Ellis’ Better than Prune Juice faced off in Week 6, with both teams 5-0. The Juice pulled it off of course, thanks to none other than O.J. Simpson’s huge day. Just a little history lesson for ya. Anything beats talking about these two teams…who’d have thought Mike P and Holland would get out of the chute winning their first 4 games, let alone win 4 games all season? Prediction: Hit Squad by 34, then they lose their last 8 games.
Have a great weekend, go Birds, and always, ALWAYS wear a rubber.
-CS
NFL PICKS
This week’s NFL slate is highlighted by the battle of the Bay, 49ers vs. Raiders. That game promises to be so intense, that I refuse to pick it, for fear of offending anyone.
Giants 36, Redskins 21 (NYG -5)
Chargers 24, Steelers 17 (SD -3)
Ravens 16, Broncos 6 (Den -4)
Eagles 17, Cowboys 16 (Philly -2)
COLLEGE PICKS
A little revenge is in order for the Sooners this week, as the Red River Shootout takes place down in the Cotton Bowl. Texas snapped a 6-game losing streak to Oklahoma in last year’s game.
Penn State 34, Minnesota 23 (PSU -3)
LSU 21, Florida 17 (LSU -1.5)
Georgia 30, Tennessee 28 (Tenn -2.5)
California 41, Oregon 34 (Cal -4.5)
Oklahoma 20, Texas 16 (Tex -4)
Kent 34, Temple 8 (Kent -24)
Anyone who is a 24 point dog to f’n Kent, is a dog who needs to be shot.
IFL PICKS
I’m all over the favorites this week.
Biff Pocoroba Massacre over Dragons
Napalm Death over Part Time Pimps
Dead Beats over Mighty Meatballs
BC Bombers over Lizard Kings
Notorious RVG over Blue Dogs
Razen Kanes over Nine Fingers
GAME OF THE WEEK: Mud Dogs (4-0) vs. Hit Squad (4-0). It’s been a while since 2 IFL teams who were unbeaten faced off this late in the season. The last time was 1974 when Jebediah Snyder’s Testes Busters and Grandpa Ellis’ Better than Prune Juice faced off in Week 6, with both teams 5-0. The Juice pulled it off of course, thanks to none other than O.J. Simpson’s huge day. Just a little history lesson for ya. Anything beats talking about these two teams…who’d have thought Mike P and Holland would get out of the chute winning their first 4 games, let alone win 4 games all season? Prediction: Hit Squad by 34, then they lose their last 8 games.
Have a great weekend, go Birds, and always, ALWAYS wear a rubber.
-CS
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Week 4 - IFL Dancing with the Stars
And the IFL gay dancer who sucked the most this week was: Mighty Meatballs owner Joey Meatball. So you are voted off the show by virtue of your 2 left feet and your low-ass score of 59, dropping you to 0-4 in the IFL. Also contributing to your demise, during the conga line dance, not only did you fall, but when RVG was in front of you, you were grabbing his ass too hard and now he has your fingerprints imprinted in his butt cheeks.
Meatball joins other shitty dancers Chaos, John E, and Shu on the sidelines as evicted houseguests.
And we have 2 houseguests with immunity for Week 5, and they are Holland and Tone Money, who put up 123 pts each (Chaos won the week with 145 but he's already evicted). Of course, you had to know the black guy was gonna win the dance contest. And that means only 8 people are eligible for eviction next week!
Join us next week in IFL Reality land!
Meatball joins other shitty dancers Chaos, John E, and Shu on the sidelines as evicted houseguests.
And we have 2 houseguests with immunity for Week 5, and they are Holland and Tone Money, who put up 123 pts each (Chaos won the week with 145 but he's already evicted). Of course, you had to know the black guy was gonna win the dance contest. And that means only 8 people are eligible for eviction next week!
Join us next week in IFL Reality land!
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Week 4 Results/ Wk 5 pickup order
Notorious RVG 116, Biff Pocoroba Massacre 91
B.C. Bombers 70, Blue Dogs 60
Mud Dogs 103, Dragons 82
Hit Squad 123, Nine Fingers 89
Razen Kanes 123, Part Time Pimps 80
Napalm Death 96, Mighty Meatballs 59
Dead Beats 145, Lizard Kings 93
...and your pickup order for the Week 5 transactions is:
1. Mighty Meatballs (0-4; 284 pts)
2. Nine Fingers (1-3; 313 pts)
3. Blue Dogs (1-3; 321 pts)
4. Lizard Kings (1-3; 338)
5. Dragons (1-3; 345 pts)
6. Dead Beats (1-3; 362 pts)
7. Biff Pocoroba Massacre (1-3; 408 pts)
8. Part Time Pimps (2-2; 381 pts)
9. Napalm Death (2-2; 386 pts)
10. Razen Kanes (3-1; 374 pts)
11. Notorious RVG (3-1; 431 pts)
12. Mud Dogs (4-0; 365 fraudulent pts)
13. BC Bombers (4-0; 447 pts)
14. Hit Squad (4-0; 470 pts)
B.C. Bombers 70, Blue Dogs 60
Mud Dogs 103, Dragons 82
Hit Squad 123, Nine Fingers 89
Razen Kanes 123, Part Time Pimps 80
Napalm Death 96, Mighty Meatballs 59
Dead Beats 145, Lizard Kings 93
...and your pickup order for the Week 5 transactions is:
1. Mighty Meatballs (0-4; 284 pts)
2. Nine Fingers (1-3; 313 pts)
3. Blue Dogs (1-3; 321 pts)
4. Lizard Kings (1-3; 338)
5. Dragons (1-3; 345 pts)
6. Dead Beats (1-3; 362 pts)
7. Biff Pocoroba Massacre (1-3; 408 pts)
8. Part Time Pimps (2-2; 381 pts)
9. Napalm Death (2-2; 386 pts)
10. Razen Kanes (3-1; 374 pts)
11. Notorious RVG (3-1; 431 pts)
12. Mud Dogs (4-0; 365 fraudulent pts)
13. BC Bombers (4-0; 447 pts)
14. Hit Squad (4-0; 470 pts)
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