Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Week 8 results

Things are getting serious.

Hit Squad 94, Dead Beats 73
Mud Dogs 151, BC Bombers 117
Ballbusters 136, Mighty Meatballs 133
Napalm Death 150, Nine Fingers 72
Dragons 146, Lizard Kings 99
Part Time Pimps 152, Notorious RVG 115
Chinese Toys R Us 106, Razen Kanes 66

Congrats to Mike B and the PTP, he wins the twenty ones.

IFL Halloween












Monday, October 29, 2007

Week 8 Monday Night Meat

These games are history.

CTRU 99, Razen Kanes 66
(CTRU has GB kicker Crosby) (RK is done)
Weak showing by Razen Kanes in a big spot. The perceived weak spots in their lineup were precisely that yesterday, with Testavede, Droughns, and A. Gonzalez each worth 2. At least they were consistent. They lose their 2nd straight to fall to 5-3. For Chinese, Garcia filled in nicely (23) and Welker was his usual great self (23). Ah what the hell, let's throw another 23-spot in there (Titans D). CTRU wins their 6th straight to stay tied atop the Central.

Mud Dogs 151, BCB 116
(FINAL)
Not a good way to start Christ's vacation. (btw does this guy ever work? Every time I hear from him, he's about to go on vacation. He's worse than the President). Brady slipped a little bit this week, he was only worth 51 for MD. Hines Ward also made an appearance (28) and the Chargers D went ape (31). For Christ, a soild performance in several spots (K. Jones and Gates = 24 each; Pats D = 36), but a Frank Gore injury makes this loss look even worse. BCB falls back to 5-3 and MD is making a charge in the East at 4-3-1.

ND 140, Nine Fingers 72
(ND has B. Marshall) (9F is done)
Heading into this game between 5-2 Central co-leaders, you'd think Shu was the clear favorite, but Devo turned him away, with a little help from the big trade w/ Dragons. McNabb (28) and Chatman (13), and Marshall is TBD but it's academic. Galloway was the high man with 34. Fingers got very little production from anyone. ND tied for first at 6-2 with CTRU, and Shu is 5-3.


The following are not officially over:

Mighty Meatballs 133, Ballbusters 91
(MM has D. Wynn) (BB has Favre)
Ballbustin' Bob wants to see the GB air attack tonight in Denver, not the ground game. Still, a lot to overcome and I don't think he can do it. The big trade between these 2 teams (Addai-for-Parker) turned out better for Meatball yesterday (Addai's 35 to Parker's 26), but it was Brees who came up the biggest, with 45. Meatballs are about to be .500 for the first time in IFL history! (I think) Ballbusters will fall to last place at 3-5.

Dragons 146, Lizard Kings 94
(Drag is done) (LK has Driver)
I guess the big ND-Dragons deal was great for both teams. Wayne and Evans combined for 75 for Dragons! His other acquistion, Bulger chipped in a nice 24 as well. For poor Johnny, P. Manning was the only real bright spot with 30, while Jacobs also chipped in a jolly old 20-bomb. Dragons will likely be 3-5 and suddenly 2 games out in the West! Lizards....1-7.

PTP 115, RVG 115
(PTP has Jennings) (RVG is done)
PTP is on the verge of halting their 5-game skid, they just need a catch by Jennings, and no picks! Colston finally showed up for the Pimps (34), and Lions D was worth 26. For Grossie Smalls, B. Edwards continued his winning ways w/ 36 and TJ Housh put up 21. The piss poor 2 by Coles could really hurt him here. RVG will likely falter to 3-4-1, but the East is wide open. PTP could be 3-5 and 2 back in the West along w/ Dragons.

Hit Squad 82, Dead Beats 64
(HS has Stokley) (DB has Elam)
What a boring-ass game. Dead Beats has 1 guy held catchless (V. Jackson) and 1 guy in his lineup didn't play (Watson). Also, LT only worth 10 in a game where SD scored 35 points??? For Holland, he continues to get miraculous play out of Derek Anderson (30), but hardly anything from the rest of his lineup. These guys are the dregs of the East, but Holland will likely be 4-4 and Chaos will be 3-5.

New Look

I upgraded the template in Blogger and it kinda looked not as good as the old way, so I was messing around with new templates and here we are. Let me know if you like it, or if you think it's shitty. Leave a comment, for god sake.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Deadline Deals

Here is a summary of all trades completed before the Week 8 Trade Deadline sponsored by Pabst Blue Ribbon Light.

  • 9 Fingers trade QB Marc Bulger to Dragons for RB Julius Jones
  • Dragons trade WRs Santana Moss and D. Northcutt to Notorious RVG for WR Isaac Bruce
  • Ballbusters trade RB Joseph Addai to Mighty Meatballs for RB Willie Parker and WR Deion Branch
  • Dragons trade RB Jesse Chatman, WR Marvin Harrison, WR Brandon Marshall, and QB Donovan McNabb to Napalm Death for WR Reggie Wayne, WR Lee Evans, RB Adrian Peterson (Bears) and TE Owen Daniels.
  • Dragons trade RB DeShaun Foster and TE Jeremy Shockey to Mud Dogs for RB Cedric Benson and TE Chris Cooley.
  • Chinese Toys R Us trades WR Nate Burleson to Hit Squad for RB Aaron Stecker.
Congrats to CTRU and Hit Squad, they win the award for Scrub Trade of the Year.

Also Wo-Man apparently did not like the team he drafted, as he practically traded his whole team away (including a whopping 4 trades during Deadline Week). The only position players he drafted that are active on his current roster are McGahee and Berrian.

And what do you think of that 8-player deal between Dragons and ND??? All 4 players that ND got can step right into their starting lineup. Can you say that for the new Dragons players? Wayne (clearly best player in the deal) and Evans, yes, but we shall see how this trade affects the razor-thin Central Division race, with Devo immersed in a 3-way tie for first. As with all deals, time will tell who got the better of it, but on the surface you have to like ND's side.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Week 8 Weekend Dump: a 1-wiper

Due to all the ridiculous IFL-related e-mails going around, I am burned out and do not wish to publish a full Weekend Dump. I will give you the schedule, and accompany it with several words, but in honor of this shortened dump, here is a literary masterpiece from the 17th Century Jew Poet Laureate, Avrum Shapiro.

"Here I sit, broken hearted.
I tried to shit, but I only farted."

There are 2 battles between 5-2 teams, including the Central Division battle between 9 Fingers and Napalm Death. Also West leaders Razen Kanes take on the other Central co-leader CTRU in a bye-depleted battle. No Romo, TO, or Boldin for CTRU, and Kanes are starting Vinny Testaverde!

Other games:

BCB vs. Mud Dogs
Ballbusters vs. Mighty Meatballs in the Battle of the Balls
Lizard Kings vs. Dragons
RVG vs. PTP
Dead Beats vs. Hit Squad



Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Week 7 stuff

Congrats to you all. I am so proud of you. 12 out of 14 teams scored over 100. Damn you Hit Squad and Dead Beats. And Prince Johnny E of Luxembourg won his first game of the year, in stunning fashion on Monday night. Congrats John, I was about to give up on you.

Anyway, the other big news of the weekend is the tragic demise of all-time great CTRU running back Ronnie Brown. His ACL was turned into spaghetti thanks to his incompetant QB throwing a pick and he tried to tackle the guy... I really don't want to get into details. Let's just say it was a great tragedy and we're going to have to move on from it, and I have to put my team in a better position to win.

Here is the low-down from Week 7.

Lizard Kings 124, Dead Beats 89
Mighty Meatballs 122, Hit Squad 88
Nine Fingers 179, Mud Dogs 113
Notorious RVG 132, Ballbusters 127
BC Bombers 121, Part Time Pimps 102
Chinese Toys R Us 180, Dragons 112
Napalm Death 108, Razen Kanes 106

Congrats to a charity of Chinese Toys R Us' choice, they win the weekly $20.

Meanwhile in the RB2 house, Chaos has been voted off the island, and Biff P had the highest dancing score. Only 7 remain..


Remember the trade deadline is this Saturday at midnight. This year's advertising slogan is "Trade Deadline '07: Nobody is Untouchable".

Monday, October 22, 2007

Week 7 Monday Nitro

Razen Kanes 106, Napalm Death 81
(RK is done) (Devo has R. Wayne)

Dead Beats 89, Lizard Kings 85
(DB is done) (LK has Manning and D. Clark)
Seahawks D for Chaos = worth 45!!! The rest of his team was garbage. Ellis likely gets his first win.

Bucks County Bombers 121, Part Time Pimps 101
(FINAL)
BCB: 5-2; PTP 2-5

Notorious RVG 132, Ballbusters 103
(RVG is done) (BB has Addai, Vinatieri)

9 Fingers 179, Mud Dogs 114
(FINAL)
If Mike P would have simply picked up Bironas, he would have won.
9F: 5-2; MD: 3-3-1

Mighty Meatballs 122, Hit Squad 66
(MM is done) (HS has Jones-Drew and Jags D)

Chinese Toys R Us 180, Dragons 108
(CTRU is done) (DGNS have Harrison or Northcutt)

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Weekend Dump - IFL Wk 7

Today the weekend dump comes to you from the toilet of the midwest, Iowa State University, where I am tailgating with half-naked co-eds in preparation for the big Oklahoma-Iowa State game on Saturday afternoon, 12:30pm on Comcast SportsNet. Unfortunately due to these circumstances, I had to cancel Turn Ahead the Clock Week (who am I bullshitting, I couldn't come up with any good ideas). So instead, we will be showing classic IFL Games on ESPN Classic all weekend. Tonight at midnight, it's the 1998 IFL Championship Game between Napalm Death and Rehab Wife Beaters. We'll talk to Devo live from therapy at halftime.

But this is anything but an ordinary week in the IFL, as you will see. No division games, so I am rooting for everyone in the East and West to knock off my Central counterparts! I have to make this quick though, so I can go back to drinking tequila out of Iowanese chicks' belly buttons.


QUEER EYE ON THE IFL

Game of the Week: Razen Kanes (5-1) vs. Napalm Death (4-2). Tone is missing a couple WRs...
Walker is hurt and Smith is on a bye. So the 5-1 record is in jeopardy. Luckily his kung fu grip on the West lead is not. Devo's biggest dilemma is who to start at QB - a banged-up VY, Leftwich, or Rattay. Fine choice. Kind of like choosing between having your grandmother catching you playing with yourself, or vice versa. Prediction: tie.

Other games:

Lizard Kings (0-6) vs. Dead Beats (3-3) - John E is the 14th ranked Coach according to the Preview page. How they come up with those numbers I have no idea, but he's at least the 13th best in my book. Dead Beats are in bye week hell this week (Chargers), so this could be win #1 for the Kings!

Hit Squad (3-3) vs. Mighty Meatballs (2-4) - Can things get worse for Meatball? His team may suck, but when he wakes up in the morning and looks in the mirror, at least he doesn't see
Holland. Life is good.

9 Fingers (4-2) vs. Mud Dogs (
3-2-1) - Mike P has no kicker. Despite my need for Shu to lose, I really hope Mud Dogs lose by a point.

PTP (2-4) vs. BCB (4-2) - Both guys have been model IFL citizens since they joined the league 3 years ago, but there's a lot you don't know. They swordfought each other at the Draft, and after everyone left Mike B's house, Chris T stuck around to hump the cushions of Mike's new sofa.

Chinese Toys R Us (4-2) vs. Dragons (2-4) - The battle for
New Jersey! The Turnpike Tussle! The Tug O' War of 295! This game is actually the IFL equivalent of Oklahoma vs. Baylor, but I have to try and sell tickets. Plenty of good seats still available.

Notorious RVG (
2-3-1) vs. Ballbusters (3-3) - What can I say about this game that hasn't been said about Temple vs. Miami (OH)? Did Temple actually win 2 in a row???? No way they win this week, even with 65,000 delirious fans at the Linc.

Shots!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

IFL News & Notes


TRADEWINDS


The trade deadline approaches like black death. Typically the deadline is before Week 8, and that will be the case this season, however - we are extending it a couple days.

The Trade Deadline will be Saturday night, October 27 at midnight. The trade has to be accepted on the site by that time.

The free agent deadline will be prior to Week 10, and remember, no more of that roster expansion BS.


Here is a list of trades that have taken place so far this year (along with a couple extremely stupid nicknames). Only 4 of them...

Week 5: Notorious RVG trades Fred Taylor to Lizard Kings for Todd Heap and Maurice Morris.

Week 6: Ballbusters trade Santana Moss to Dragons for Kenton Keith "Kallenbach".

Week 6: 9 Fingers trade Chris Chambers to Lizard Kings for Brian Griese and Terry Glenn.

Week 7: Chinese Toys R Us trades Steve McNair and DeShaun "Bananas" Foster to Dragons for Jeff Garcia and Ladell Betts.


WEB SITE NEWS

You may have noticed a neat little doohickey on the website now, sticky notes. You can find them on most pages of the site, near the top (although strangely not on the front page)... here is an example of where to find them:



Click "Notes" and you can leave an annoying sticky for one of your fellow owners that they will see when they open the site. Feel free to bombard the Wo-Man with as many of these as you can.


COMMUNITY BULLETIN


John E is rumoured to be hosting NFL Action on Sunday, November 11. That is Week 10 and the Eagles are at the Redskins. If this is confirmed within the next week, I will personally phone each one of you during the most inconvenient time possible. And let's have a better turnout than last time...if I get stuck talking to Ballbusting Bob the whole time again, I will gouge my eyes out with one of John's $2,000 gold and diamond Mont Blanc pens.

Part Time Pimps owner Mike B will be hosting a Pumpkin Fest at his house on October 28. Actvities will include pumpkin picking, jack o'lantern carving in likenesses of IFL owners, pumpkin pie eating, poontang pie eating, pumpkin seed spitting, and seeing who can paint their nutsack to look most like a pumpkin.

The Drive to 300 is on! If any IFL owners have reached or are approaching 300 lbs., please email me a picture of yourself in only your tighty whities or a speedo and I will post it on the IFL Blog, in a new feature coming this fall, tentatively titled "The 300 Level".

That is all for now. Best of luck and let's see some trades.

Interim Commissioner
Asdrubal Pocoroba
Batting 2nd
Playing 2B

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Quick look at the IFL after 46.1538% of the Season has been completed



There you have the standings. We're now officially six-thirteenths of the way through the 2007 IFL season, and everyone's been through their division once, so let's see how things stack up as we head into Week 7 sponsored by the Lawrence Phillips Halfway House. It's gonna be a wild pennant race, that's for sure.

Tone Money's Kanes are the only 5-1 team in the league, and they are the only team in complete control of their division, with that big 3-game lead out West. Poor John E and his Lizard Kings are 0-6 and all but eliminated...one more loss and you can stick a fork in him. Don't think he'll clam up and mail it in though, John is notorious for spoiling other people's seasons. Pimps are looking really, really, really bad, having not scored over 100 in 4 weeks (losing all 4 games also). Dragons aren't looking great either, but they certainly aren't out of it yet, with the mental toughness of the Wo-Man (he sharpens his brain by doing 27 Sudokus a day).

The East is tight from top to bottom, with only 1.5 games separating first and last place. Christ's BCB are the highest scoring team in the league (and highest in their division by far), but going 1-2 in their last 3, they have the look of a 6-7 team. And when you have Mike P's Mud Dogs w/ Brady and Chaos's Dead Beats w/ LT in the division, unpredictability will ensue. Hit Squad has been getting by on freak QB play by Kitna and D Anderson, despite a down year for LJ. And RVG brings up the caboose, but he's the 2nd highest scoring team in the division (Palmer-to-TJ). Look out for him. Also we'll see if the hideous tie between RVG and Mike P will come back to haunt or help anyone.

The Central is the most interesting race right now, w/ 3 teams tied at 4-2 atop the division. CTRU may have the edge in that they are the highest scoring team in the division, along w/ the 3-1 div record and the most lucrative TV contract. Notice the horrifically low points per game for ND though, making them look suspiciously fraudulent. 9 Fingers are on a 2-game slide, we'll see how Shu bounces back from adversity. One more loss and he'll probably jump in front of a bus. Saggy Ballbaggy Bob has his Ballbusters in top form, only a game back, and w/ Adrian Peterson he is the odds-on favorite to win the league. Meatballs are their usual selves, but put together their first ever 2-game winning streak to make themselves look respectable. Do not be fooled, they are not to be respected. j/k we love Meatball (when he's on top of our spaghetti and especially when he's on our schedule).

Week 6 Results & RB2 update

Mud Dogs 174, Dead Beats 115
Notorious RVG 125, BC Bombers 100 (I called that shit)
Ballbusters 130, Nine Fingers 112
Chinese Toys R Us 159, Mighty Meatballs 96
Razen Kanes 149, Part Time Pimps 62 (Pimp-slapping of the week)
Napalm Death 133, Dragons 93
Hit Squad 175, Lizard Kings 64 (non-KY anal violation of the week)

Congrats to Holland! He wins $20, bringing his lifetime earnings (in fantasy and real life) to $20.

Also, as we look in on the RB2 apartment........ things are definitely smelling better. Even more so now that Lizard Kings owner John E has been evicted with a score of 64. And immunity from Week 7 eviction has been granted to Mud Dogs owner Mike P, with his 174-bomb. 8 owners remain.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Week 6 Monday Night Melodrama

Week 6 created league-wide bloodbaths, thanks to bye weeks, injuries, poor play, smoking grass, and foul language. As such, only 1 game hinges on tonight's scintillating Giants-Falcons tilt in Atlanta. And even that one is a long shot.


Notorious RVG 125, BC Bombers 51
(RVG is done) (BCB has Eli and Plax)
Not going to say this one is over yet.... but Christ had an extremely shitty day on Sunday. His bye week replacements were not up to the task: Morency (8), Clayton (5), add in crappy days from Portis (11) and Gates (8)... Meanwhile RVG had wonderful outings by TJ Housh (39), B Edwards (29) and Palmer (29). If there is a team for the Eli/Plax combo to do it against, it's Atlanta. A BCB loss will really put them back in the pack in the suddenly tough IFL East at 4-2... RVG needs the win to move to 2-3-1 and put them in contention.


The rest of the games are officially part of IFL lore:

Chinese Toys R Us 159, Meatballs 81
(CTRU is done) (Meatballs have Giants D)
Business as usual. Welker - 40, R Brown - 31, even TO got off the schnide w/ 18. 4 in a row for CTRU and all of a sudden we have a race in the IFL Central. Meatballs best player was Stover, who kicked 5 FGs in a 22-pt effort. CTRU is 4-2, MM is 2-4.

Mud Dogs 174, Dead Beats 115
(FINAL)
Mud Dogs get 60 out of Brady and 30 out of Cooley. That's tough to beat. Dead Beats had a below-par day, save for LT's 53-bomb. Mud Dogs are now 3-2-1 and Dead Beats are 3-3 in the East.

Ballbusters 130, 9 Fingers 112
(FINAL)
Injuries killed Shu (Rudi DNP and Morris left early)... and Adrian Peterson killed him too. My sweet Jesus, this guy is a stud. Where did he go to college again? 59 for AD, and nothing much else for Ballbusters, but it was enough to knock off Shuey. BTW a big sidebar to this game was that Shu lost Kurt Warner because of an illegal IR move last week, so he had to trade for Griese. Greise = 44. Warner = 1, and left the game early. Shushushushushushushushushu are you kidding me???? Shu must have seen a witch doctor, because if this was the old Shu, the scores would have been reversed. BB is 3-3, 9F is 4-2 in the suddenly mushed-up Central.

Hit Squad 174, Lizard Kings 55
(HS is done) (LK has Jacobs)
Poor, poor, Mr. Johnny. FA p/u of the Year Kurt Warner = 1. Oh well, at least he still has that Manning guy to fall back on. Thanks to MJD (45), Derek Fucking Anderson (37), and Gonzo (36), Holland sends the Lizard Kings one step closer to immortality. LK is 0-6 in the West, Hit Squad is 3-3 and right in the pack in the East.

Razen Kanes 145, Part Time Pimps 61
(RK has Dunn) (PTP has Crumpler)
Congrats to Tone $ on another win. The buddy man Steve Smith (42), K Curtis (34), and Hasselbeck (34) led the way. PTP continues their slide with yet another piss poor outing. Bye weeks (Big Ben, T Henry) and injuries (Maroney, Andre Johnson) did not help. PTP falls to 2-4 in the West, while the Kanes could be the best team in football at 5-1 after all is said and done tonight.

Napalm Death 133, Dragons 82
(ND is done) (Dragons have Shockey)
This is starting to look like the Devo of old. High draft pick Ravens D was worth 36. B-West (26) and Galloway (25) also pitched in. For the Wo, woe is him. Goose eggs out of James Jones and Santana "I don't want to play any more today, someone else go in for me" Moss. Not good. Wo falls to 2-4 and ND should be in a 3-way tie for first in the Central.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Weekend Dump! IFL Week 6

It's been a while, lots to catch up on. Here's my weekend dump, right in your mouth, sans the plastic wrap.

Week 4 Results

Hit Squad 129, Notorious RVG 126
Chinese Toys R Us 148, Napalm Death 64
Mud Dogs 114, Dragons 91
Mighty Meatballs 101, Razen Kanes 94
Dead Beats 118, Part Time Pimps 74
Ballbusters 165, Lizard Kings 125
Nine Fingers 104, B.C. Bombers 99 (so much for the shootout we were expecting)

Congrats to Ballbag Bob, he won $20 for the high score in Week 4! A lot easier to pay yourself off, considering you've been spending the $ all along.


Week 5 Results

Dead Beats 123, Notorious RVG 71
BC Bombers 154, Hit Squad 81
CTRU 121, Ballbusters 86
Napalm Death 79, Nine Fingers 68
Dragons 94, Lizard Kings 89
Razen Kanes 104, Mud Dogs 92
Mighty Meatballs 104, Part Time Pimps 82

Congrats to BCB's Chris T, yet another accolade to add to the trophy case, in the form of a shitstained $20 bill. Due to his fantasy greatness, from this point forward, he no longer needs a space between his first and last names, and he will be known simply as Christ.


RB2 update

2 weeks have passed since the last update of the ridiculous Survivor-style contest, Reality Bytes 2. Here's what has transpired since then:

Week 4: ND owner Devo eliminated (64); Ballbuster Bob (165) gained immunity for Week 5

Week 5: in a shocker, 9-fingered owner Shu (68) is eliminated; BCB owner Christ (154) has immunity for Week 6

So far, evicted: Meatball, Holland, Mike B, Devo, Shu
9 persons remain.


Week 6 EYE on the IFL

Pretty lame slate this weekend, let's hope for some fireworks. Here is a panoramic look at the Week 6 schedule.

Mighty Meatballs (2-3) vs. Chinese Toys R Us (3-2). Central matchup. Both teams started off winless, and are now in the midst of winning streaks. Don't be fooled. Meatball was a 78-pt underdog to me before he adjusted his lineup for bye weeks, injuries, etc. Now he's an 86-pt underdog. That being said, watch him win.

Dead Beats (3-2) vs. Mud Dogs (2-2-1). East matchup. Dead Beats also on a 3-game streak. Mud Dogs have Kenneth Darby in their starting lineup. I know 6 teams are on a bye, but my goodness. Actually make that 7 teams - add Dead Beats to the list.

Notorious RVG (1-3-1) vs. BC Bombers (4-1). East matchup. This is the week to get Christ, he has Gore and Roy Will on a bye. That RVG's not a bad team though, despite their piss poor record. I'm picking them in my Vaseline Upset Special of the Week.

Ballbusters (2-3) vs. 9 Fingers (4-1). Central matchup. 2 of the top 4 highest scoring teams in the league. I'm picking the other 4-1 team to fall also. I'm calling it - this year in the IFL is gonna be like college football. Parity galore.

Razen Kanes (3-2) vs. Party Time Pimps (2-3). Pimps are hurtin. Big Ben and T-Hen on a bye. Tone is back from Deutschland with a new lease on life, and a bad case of diarrhea. Kanes big.

Napalm Death (3-2) vs. Dragons (2-3). How about those Rockies? What is it, 19 out of their last 20?

Lizard Kings (0-5) vs. Hit Squad (2-3). The IFL's only perfect team battles the most imperfect IFL owner. Actually, I'm wrong, Holland is perfectly hideous. Anyway, the pain will be over for Johnny this week. Because he is a CommGuru underdog after being a favorite for the first 5 weeks.

Should be a wild 2nd half of the season, I'm really looking forward to some controversial tiebreakers.

Next week.... Week 7 has been Throwback Week in the IFL for the past few years. However, this year we're changing things up and flipping the switch on the time machine. So Week 7 will now be Turn Ahead the Clock Week! Team names from the future, players from the future, and in some cases, owners from the future. How are we going to pull this off? I have no idea. The IFL Party Planning Committee is working on it. One thing we do know is that the NFL/IFL Sunday will be hosted by John E once again, where he will be providing futuristic food such as frozen burgers he's stockpiled for his 2010 Fourth of July BBQ.


FAKE FOOTBALL

I have no comment on College Football or the NFL until further notice.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Week 4 Monday Night Mayhem

I'm short on time so this will be a quick one.

These 2 games have drama:

Hit Squad 129, Not. RVG 83
(HS is done) (RVG has Palmer and TJ Housh)
This game is not over by any means. 45 out of the two Bungals won't be an easy task vs the Pats, but it can be done. Hit Squad with their first good outing of the year, thanks to LJ finally showing up (22) and Buckhalter (22)!

BC Bombers 86, Nine Fingers 52
(BCB has NE DEF) (9F has K. Watson, Chad #85, and R. Moss)
It looks like a stinker but I bet both guys will be over 100. Regardless, sub-par days for both teams thus far. Game of the Week my ass. BCB had no one over 15. Tune in tonight!


The rest are all but over (sorry if I jinx anyone):

Meatballs 101, Razen Kanes 83
(Meat done) (RK has Shayne Graham)
Tone Money finds it more important to galavant around Europe in his knickers instead of paying attn to his IFL lineup. He starts Javon Walker, who didn't play. If he started Witten instead, he would be 4-0. A win isn't impossible, but it's highly unlikely now. Meatballs = 101 - way to go, still not that great though.

Dead Beats 118, Part Time Pimps 74
(DB is done) (PTP has Maroney)
Uphill battle for PTP. Their rag-tag lineup couldn't get it done (Pennington, Norwood, Jennings, Crumpler...yuck). Dead Beats got by thanks to LT's resurgence (31) and the Seattle D (31). Maroney is a game time decision too....

Ballbusters 165, Lizard Kings 125
(FINAL)
Please give John E a hug next time you see him, he's 0-4. Dwayne Bowe worth 41, Johnny? You really pulled that one out of your ass. Bob had Favre (34), Santonio Holmes (35), Addai (28), etc...

Mud Dogs 87, Dragons 79
(MD has Brady) (Dragons have NE's Polish kicker)
This could get ugly for Wo. McNabb worth 6 as the G-Men tee off on him. Also injuries to Caddy (4) and Harrison (1) doom the Big Guy. Caddy is out for the year. Call Wo 1-3 and Mike P 2-1-1.

CTRU 141, Napalm Death 64
(CTRU has Welker) (ND is done)
Romo was his usual self (51). Tough break for Devo as Westbrook does not play. Only drama tonight is if CTRU can catch Ballbusters for the weekly $20. Both teams even out at 2-2 in the Central.